Re: Does this make me a jerk?
So my niece is graduating from Kindergarten Wednesday and I'm not going.
This is my wife's brothers kid and she is the oldest grandchild of the family(there are 4 total, his 2, our 2). I decided not to go because I would need to take a day off of work and I think that is absurd. I actually thought it was rude to ask people to do that. I think Kindergarten graduation is a crock anyway. So we celebrate every grade now? When I moved up from kindergarten is was just another day. I think that only people that should be present are Mom + Dad and the Grandparents. Right?
Here's the other dynamic and why I'm really not going. My wife's family is large and so is my brother In laws family. It's conceivable that crew will be rolling easily 14 deep(or possibly more). So if I go I'm not some integral family member. I won't have her running up to me saying "UNCLE KEVIN" with a big hug, no. I'll be like 15th string as always. Whenever this family does stuff they are always an awkwardly huge group taking up too much space. I'll likely be standing out in the hallway outside the auditorium trying look happy and not annoyed.
So does me not going make me a jerk?
No it doesn't make you a jerk.
Explain to them politely and respectfully that you aren't able to take the day off work.
My daughter graduated from preschool a month ago. I didn't invite anyone except her father (my ex husband). Half an hour into the ceremony, I realized he forgot, so it turned out I was the only one who attended. Preschool, kindergarten, are not a big deal to graduate from. Parents and grandparents are good to go...inviting anyone else is really weird in my opinion. But to each their own.
"The pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience, you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your life experiences and hold your head up high the next day. So don't live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after everything that has happened, than you ever were back before it started."