Re: Help!! Family not accepting :(
I never married my son's mother. We split home when he was 2 because we thought it would be better than splitting home later in his life. He knows no other way and has a wonderful childhood.
His mother and I never once stepped into court, we never dealt with family courts over custody. I see my son just about every day for 2 weeks straight, then I only see him for an hour or so a day for a week because of my work schedule rotation.
I feel that I get plenty of time with him, his mother feels the same.
We split all his expenses, or at least try to, sometimes that isn't possible. We find ways of working out the financials.
I happen to be responsible for all his extra curricular activities, she takes responsibility for his curricular activities. That way we aren't tracking bills constantly and can focus on his welfare.
You can do this man, I know it seems scary, we were 22 when my son was born, both in college. It becomes second nature, well, to be fair, it is nature.
Having a child isn't going to make life a struggle, unless your child has some major health issues.
Now... that that is out of the way.
Under no circumstance should you consider marrying this woman, ever.
Not for love, not for family, and certainly not for convenience. Marriage offers absolutely no benefit to you or your child.
I married a 41yr old woman when I was 31. We knew each other for 6 months. She pushed marriage hard, I didn't feel right and neither did my family. It lasted 1.5 years, and the divorce will no doubt last longer than the marriage (well over a year already) I've spent more trying to rid my life of her than I have spent on my son's medical expenses over 11 years of his life (including his birth).
I could have bought her a house with the money I spent trying to keep her from taking mine.
And we have no children together.
Talk to an attorney about your rights, don't expect a fight, but be prepared for one.
The worst that could happen now is you split custody and pay 17% max of your gross in child support.
If you get married, I guarantee it will be worse.
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