If this boy is under the care of two therapists (which doesn't make sense) do you know what his diagnosis is?
Whether his problem is a result of Reactive Attachment Disorder or psychopathy, if what you describe as his behavior is true and accurate, why the hell is this child not already placed in a residential treatment facility where he can be safely structured, safely medicated, safely schooled, and safely in therapy.
I'm very concerned about a gun in the home where this violent and unpredictable young man might accidentally find it! Even if you kept it locked in a gun safe, with that thing on the trigger that prevented it from firing, it would be almost useless to you in an emergency because by the time you got it out and unlocked and loaded, it would probably be too late to save your wife. Furthermore, if she isn't to know you have a gun in the house, she obviously couldn't use it to save herself should you be absent.
If you are in this much fear for your safety or your wife's safety, this child belongs in a facility. Period. End of story. Adding a gun to this scenario is ineffective at best and downright deadly and
dangerous for everyone involved at worst.
And I can see this argument as well. I think the best solution is for my stepson NOT to come to our home. Up to this point he has not become violent in public and if he does, obviously we would have access to help from others in the area.
In a WORST case situation if someone's life was at stake, a table lamp to the skull or even if necessary, God forbid, a butcher knife would do an effective job.
But the best case scenario is to grant SS's desire for no contact. My W doesn't want to accept this. With that said she knows he is dangerous (though she doesn't want to admit the degree yet) and I think she will not fight too hard against my boundary that any contact with him happen in a public place.
Since SS lives with Dad, the professionals who have encountered us so far tend to weight his opinion over that of my W. As the stepparent I have no say, really. My W has been painted as a hysteric who is exaggerating my SS's behavior. Dad is in denial, rugsweeps everything and says that SS is "fine" as long as he has no contact with my W.
Meanwhile, we have spoken to SS's therapists (one is for IC, the other is a psychiatrist for med management). SS is not compliant with his meds. The IC refuses to tell us anything and the psych says she cannot get through to him, that he is disrespectful, curses her out and that he is making no progress. She says he has no insight into his behavior and prefers to blame others, primarily my W.
So we can't really do anything. Dad wants him off meds and out of therapy and honestly believes his only problem is my W.