HATE my stepkid - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
The Family & Parenting Forums Family dynamics can be exactly that - dynamic! Post here about family related issues such as parenting, blended families, step-families, new relationships with children involved, family of origin issues, in-laws or sibling issues.

User Tag List

 40Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #31 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 11:27 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 42
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kivlor View Post
Okay... So I want to get the facts straight. 1 You are a lesbian couple, so no one is going to discipline this 6'+ 200+lb guy. He has assaulted your W, and strangled her. What did you do about that? He has assaulted his dad; what did the dad do about that?

I want to point out that you were, in your own words, on good terms with him after HE STRANGLED YOUR WIFE.

The kids were abused you say. How?

Your whole family needs counseling. And some sort of plan for defending yourselves needs to be implemented.
Yes, everyone is in counseling. Yes, it's a horrible situation.

After he strangled my W, we immediately notified his therapists. Numerous emergency sessions were held, in which I participated since I witnessed the events. It was my W's wish that I reconcile with her kid and not hold this incident against him. She forgave him and expected me to do so, too.

He never apologized to my W or expressed any remorse. But after about a month of NC with him and his brother the therapists recommended that we resume visits. SS and my W/kids Dad attended those sessions together.

Nix2 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #32 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 11:36 AM
Member
 
Kivlor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Rural Midwest
Posts: 2,897
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nix2 View Post
Yes, everyone is in counseling. Yes, it's a horrible situation.

After he strangled my W, we immediately notified his therapists. Numerous emergency sessions were held, in which I participated since I witnessed the events. It was my W's wish that I reconcile with her kid and not hold this incident against him. She forgave him and expected me to do so, too.

He never apologized to my W or expressed any remorse. But after about a month of NC with him and his brother the therapists recommended that we resume visits. SS and my W/kids Dad attended those sessions together.
And what was the "reason" for him doing this to his own mother?

What kind of meds to they have him on. You say you're seeing multiple therapists, I take it one is a Psychologist, the other a Psychiatrist? Or is it a different setup?

You said the kids were abused / neglected. Could you give some sort of examples, or descriptions? It will help others understand what you're dealing with.

Do you hear the people sing / Lost in the valley of the night?
It is the music of a people / Who are climbing to the light.
For the wretched of the earth / There is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end / And the sun will rise...
Kivlor is offline  
post #33 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 11:44 AM
Forum Supporter
 
SunCMars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: North Coast Nationalist-burg, U.S.A.
Posts: 2,231
Re: HATE my stepkid

Buy two Tasers.

You carry one, give the wife the other.

Do NOT let ANYONE know that you have them on your person. Carry them only when Goliath is around.

He needs to be medicated...into a calm state.



Problem: He will likely resist and refuse to take the meds.

He will get worse. I predict he cannot ever be employed...Why? No H.S. Degree, no resume can be created with this young man. He will be fired from every job. He will be fast-tracked into crime, maybe drugs.

At best, I see landscaping jobs in his future. They still employ troubled humans and those with a criminal past.

He likely will end up in prison for violence, maybe REDRUM...read backwards.

I hope I am wrong.

Sorry

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
SunCMars is online now  
 
post #34 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 11:48 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 42
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by SunCMars View Post
Buy two Tasers.

You carry one, give the wife the other.

Do NOT let ANYONE know that you have them on your person. Carry them only when Goliath is around.

He needs to be medicated...into a calm state.



Problem: He will likely resist and refuse to take the meds.

He will get worse. I predict he cannot ever be employed...Why? No H.S. Degree, no resume can be created with this young man. He will be fired from every job. He will be fast-tracked into crime, maybe drugs.

At best, I see landscaping jobs in his future. They still employ troubled humans and those with a criminal past.

He likely will end up in prison for violence, maybe REDRUM...read backwards.

I hope I am wrong.

Sorry
Good idea re: Tasers, if anyone has info to share regarding the requirements for licensing etc I would be appreciative.

And I share your pessimistic outlook, barring an act of God that causes him to realize how desperately he needs his meds/psychological help, and to accept said help.

Sadly.
Nix2 is offline  
post #35 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 12:22 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 393
Re: HATE my stepkid

I wish you the best no one said marriage was roses ask any hetro couple with a blended marriage. You need patience and understanding to make it work with clear lines and zero alienation, or you will find that you are the bad guy not just to your stepkids but your wife too.

You also sound like you have a budding sociopath you and your wife will need help to learn how to deal with this his dad too

Get a handgun and learn to shoot

Also look in to this Pink Pistols ? Pick On Someone Your Own Caliber I used to shoot steal with some pp as my uncle is a member and they are a hoot
dash74 is offline  
post #36 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 01:34 PM
Member
 
Kivlor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Rural Midwest
Posts: 2,897
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nix2 View Post
In a WORST case situation if someone's life was at stake, a table lamp to the skull or even if necessary, God forbid, a butcher knife would do an effective job.
I'm curious, do you lift a lot of weights? How much do you weigh? There's a reason that boxing and MMA are set into weight classes. A guy with 20+lbs on another guy is going to pummel the smaller man, almost every time. I wouldn't even remotely hope that a lamp is going to stop him, or a knife unless you're at least in the ballpark in size or have the element of surprise and you don't stop.

I'm 5'8, 200lbs, lift weights, and I'd be pretty worried trying to win in any close quarters scenario against a guy that size.

Don't get me wrong, if that's all you have available, you use it. I just don't think that's the plan I'd bank on.

Do you hear the people sing / Lost in the valley of the night?
It is the music of a people / Who are climbing to the light.
For the wretched of the earth / There is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end / And the sun will rise...
Kivlor is offline  
post #37 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 02:54 PM
Member
 
GusPolinski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: TX, USA
Posts: 12,105
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by dash74 View Post
I wish you the best no one said marriage was roses ask any hetro couple with a blended marriage. You need patience and understanding to make it work with clear lines and zero alienation, or you will find that you are the bad guy not just to your stepkids but your wife too.

You also sound like you have a budding sociopath you and your wife will need help to learn how to deal with this his dad too

Get a handgun and learn to shoot

Also look in to this Pink Pistols ? Pick On Someone Your Own Caliber I used to shoot steal with some pp as my uncle is a member and they are a hoot
Taurus Judge.

That is all.
Posted via Mobile Device

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
GusPolinski is offline  
post #38 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 02:56 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 42
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kivlor View Post
I'm curious, do you lift a lot of weights? How much do you weigh? There's a reason that boxing and MMA are set into weight classes. A guy with 20+lbs on another guy is going to pummel the smaller man, almost every time. I wouldn't even remotely hope that a lamp is going to stop him, or a knife unless you're at least in the ballpark in size or have the element of surprise and you don't stop.

I'm 5'8, 200lbs, lift weights, and I'd be pretty worried trying to win in any close quarters scenario against a guy that size.

Don't get me wrong, if that's all you have available, you use it. I just don't think that's the plan I'd bank on.
Huh. Thanks for the perspective.

I am thinking that my immediate need for protection is best addressed with a Taser. Need to do more research. I looked online and saw that I need to get a FOID, so I can start there.

I am 5'2" and you must know never to ask a lady her age or weight, but if you've heard the "I'm A Little Teapot" song - I'm short and stout. Strong for my size but you are correct, no match against an enraged dude a foot and a half taller than me, at least 30 pounds heavier, and 35 years younger.
Nix2 is offline  
post #39 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 02:59 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 42
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by GusPolinski View Post
Taurus Judge.

That is all.
Posted via Mobile Device
Thanks for the tip, I am going to apply for my FOID which I would need anyway, and then I will speak to my BIL (sister's husband) who is a proud NRA member.
Nix2 is offline  
post #40 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 03:14 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 393
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by GusPolinski View Post
Taurus Judge.

That is all.
Posted via Mobile Device


To big to carry but I recommend this all the time in .45/.410 with Winchester pdx1 same principle but way more compact Snake Slayer - Bond Arms

Pdx1 shells



Edit if you get a ccl do your class with a Semiauto so you can carry revolvers, semiautos or derringers in some states if you do it with a revolver you are licensed only to carry a revolver or derringer


Last edited by dash74; 06-16-2016 at 03:22 PM.
dash74 is offline  
post #41 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 03:16 PM
Member
 
GusPolinski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: TX, USA
Posts: 12,105
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by dash74 View Post
To big to carry but I recommend this all the time in .45/.410 with Winchester pdx1 same principle but way more compact Snake Slayer - Bond Arms

Pdx1 shells

Damn.

Could you imagine taking two barrels full of that at the same time?
Posted via Mobile Device

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
GusPolinski is offline  
post #42 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 03:24 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 393
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by GusPolinski View Post
Damn.

Could you imagine taking two barrels full of that at the same time?
Posted via Mobile Device
It is the real deal you don't plink with it
dash74 is offline  
post #43 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 03:28 PM
Member
 
tropicalbeachiwish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: La La Land
Posts: 1,770
Re: HATE my stepkid

Wow! Any incidences in the future should be reported to the police asap. You'll build up a report on him which you may need in the future for a restraining order. Your focus really at this point should be protecting yourselves. He should not be allowed in your home at any time, nor should either of you be alone with him. Stay away & stop calling. You cannot control what is going on in the other home. If both of you have been told repeatedly that he views your W as the problem, then listen to that. Give him the space; not doing so may be construed as your W harassing him. Good luck.
tropicalbeachiwish is online now  
post #44 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 03:34 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 42
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by tropicalbeachiwish View Post
Wow! Any incidences in the future should be reported to the police asap. You'll build up a report on him which you may need in the future for a restraining order. Your focus really at this point should be protecting yourselves. He should not be allowed in your home at any time, nor should either of you be alone with him. Stay away & stop calling. You cannot control what is going on in the other home. If both of you have been told repeatedly that he views your W as the problem, then listen to that. Give him the space; not doing so may be construed as your W harassing him. Good luck.
Thanks and I agree with you.

My W can't cope with her son rejecting her this way but she isn't pushing things so much that he has snapped. Yet.

Sunday is Father's Day and there's a big party planned with my W's parents. Both my Skids are expected to attend. I do not expect this one will and my W is not going to push it.

My own father is deceased so Father's Day for me involves a cemetery visit.

I may need to tell my W I don't want to be present if there is any chance that SS will appear. My W expects me to defend her from him. Obviously my W and I will need to have some very serious discussion about this issue.
Nix2 is offline  
post #45 of 53 (permalink) Old 06-16-2016, 03:37 PM
Forum Supporter
 
SunCMars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: North Coast Nationalist-burg, U.S.A.
Posts: 2,231
Re: HATE my stepkid

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nix2 View Post
Good idea re: Tasers, if anyone has info to share regarding the requirements for licensing etc I would be appreciative.

And I share your pessimistic outlook, barring an act of God that causes him to realize how desperately he needs his meds/psychological help, and to accept said help.

Sadly.
No, Tasers are not legal in every state and city.

However, one can usually protect oneself in your own home. I would worry less about the police than being beaten to death.



Here is a list that I found. I cannot attest to its accuracy. Call your local police department.


The following STATES are ILLEGAL to own or possess a stun gun:
•Hawaii
•Illinois – LEGAL but has restrictions – Illinois Stun Gun Laws
•Massachusetts
•Michigan – Stun Guns are prohibited. Only devices that contain an identification and tracking system that dispenses coded material when the device is used are allowed. TASER devices are the only ones currently legal.
•New Jersey
•New York
•Rhode Island
•District of Columbia

The following CITIES are ILLEGAL to own or possess a stun gun:
•Annapolis, MD
•Baltimore, MD
•Chicago, IL
•Philadelpia, PA

The following COUNTIES are ILLEGAL to own or possess a stun gun:
•Baltimore County, MD
•Crawford County, IA

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
SunCMars is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I hate my new job. kag123 General Relationship Discussion 136 12-09-2016 08:15 PM
What I hate about my marriage maritalloneliness Reconciliation 4 05-29-2016 11:22 AM
Hate lessonslearned15 General Relationship Discussion 4 12-06-2015 03:17 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome