Your last sentence: "He is a SICK puppy." pretty much sums it up plus what you have written about the inadequate parenting this sick puppy has had. I see him as a victim of very bad parenting along with perhaps some genetic flaws but mostly just plain old bad parenting!
My stepson is a horrible person and I hate his guts.
Hate his guts if you must but he is NOT a horrible person. He is the VICTIM of horrible adults who have FAILED to help him acquire normal social skills and responsibilities - according to your story!
He uses his size to intimidate and bully others, always has.
Always has? Only because someone, his parents, allowed or maybe even encouraged this to happen!
His sibling called my W and me begging for our help because idiot stepson was beating up their father. We did the only thing we could do living apart from them, we called the police. As a result he was hospitalized.
That could have been a step in the right direction to undo the mental damages from bad parenting or perhaps bad genetics. Someone needed to HELP him stop being so violent!
He blames others for his actions, will not take any accountability. I am now the devil along with my W who has been the devil for years in his eyes. He hasn't spoken to me since April. He cannot accept any responsibility or accountability for his actions, which include strangling his mother (my W), beating up his father and terrifying his brother to the point where he barricaded his room with every piece of furniture he could find in order to prevent this piece of crap teenager from barging in and wreaking havoc.
Yep, that's all the consequences of inadequate parenting!
My W and her ex made excuses for him in his younger years as he has his good points as well but he has always been disturbed.
Looks to me like he has "always" had disturbed parents/parenting!
He has been in therapy pretty much consistently since the age of 10 and it has made no difference. He needs help. He has received, and is currently receiving, help. He has two therapists!
Therapy is not a MAGICAL CURE and many therapists are sorely unqualified to help others!
But he isn't open to it, will not talk to anyone and wants to live in fantasyland where everything is provided to him and he doesn't have to lift a finger in effort. His grades suck, he has no goal in life. He and his brother both live with their father who enforces no discipline, is the quintessential beta male. My jerk stepson is the alpha in the household.
All of this is about BAD PARENTING! Don't the two therapists see it????
And of course I am open to anything which may improve the situation.
The only thing that could HELP this kid is to be removed from his very inadequate parents and home and turned over to people who could socialize him in a NORMAL/HEALTHY fashion. (but NOT the military!)