This is my first time on this forum. I've been lurking for years though.
I could use some advice about this situation.
My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years and we have three children, ages 7, 5 and 5 months.
My husband is from another country and while we share the same country of origin, I was born and raised in the US. I've never been to my ancestral home.
My husband is the only member of his family here. My parents live in another state and my siblings are scattered all over. I've never met my in laws.
My husband has decided to bring his younger brother to the states. And by younger, I mean he's 30 years old. My husband is planning to bring him here in August.
I asked DH where will his brother be living and he said with us. I asked for how long and he tells me a year. I say absolutely not. Mind you, he never discussed any of this with me and just assumed this would be the situation.
It's been a point of contention and every time he brings up the topic, I state my position that he should find his brother a place to stay. I don't believe in housing grown ups and for me, my house is my sanctuary. We've had people living with us during the first two years of our marriage and both scenarios did NOT end well.
When DH was single, he had an open door policy. I tried to accommodate that but I quickly learned that this is just not for me. I understand parents (whether mind of his) coming to visit for a few months but anyone outside that category is a no go for me.
My husband has told me that I'm being selfish and I'm really very hurt by this. I feel that as his wife he should at least consult me on my thoughts and not just impose situations on me. This is my house too and I just don't want anyone living with us besides our children, of course.
I need some advice because my husband dismisses my wishes every time we discuss it and I'm at the point of where I feel the need to draw the line. In general, he's very nonchalant about my wishes and I've gotten to the point where I feel enough is enough. I've already told him that if his brother shows up here, I'm leaving.