Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet. - Talk About Marriage
The Family & Parenting Forums Family dynamics can be exactly that - dynamic! Post here about family related issues such as parenting, blended families, step-families, new relationships with children involved, family of origin issues, in-laws or sibling issues.

User Tag List

 27Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 01:22 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 550
Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

My Dad passed away about a month ago and my disordered delusional mother has taken to a dating website. She is getting scammed right and left. She almost sent some dude $300 dollars the other day. She is convinced she is in love with some 45 year old guy in the military. (She's in her 60's btw) after a few emails. No phone conversation because his commander won't let him. (eye roll) He says he's stationed in Syria. Does America even have any troops in Syria? He can't skype because he has an old laptop too. Did I mention she's delusional? I shouldn't care, but I'm the only one in the family that makes a good living and I don't want to bail her out. Any thoughts, ideas, or experiences? Thanks in advance.

Ms. GP is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 01:28 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,325
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. GP View Post
My Dad passed away about a month ago and my disordered delusional mother has taken to a dating website. She is getting scammed right and left. She almost sent some dude $300 dollars the other day. She is convinced she is in love with some 45 year old guy in the military. (She's in her 60's btw) after a few emails. No phone conversation because his commander won't let him. (eye roll) He says he's stationed in Syria. Does America even have any troops in Syria? He can't skype because he has an old laptop too. Did I mention she's delusional? I shouldn't care, but I'm the only one in the family that makes a good living and I don't want to bail her out. Any thoughts, ideas, or experiences? Thanks in advance.

This is going to sound a bit strange, but try searching the Dr. Phil website and forums. He has had a bunch of episodes devoted to older women getting "catfished" and scammed online by men they think they are in love with. Some have lost millions of dollars and still refuse to believe the truth. Maybe seeing an espisode would set her straight.
kristin2349 is offline  
post #3 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 01:41 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 550
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

That's a good idea. My brother and I have both sent her articles about catfishing to no avail so far. My brother has hacked her email and blocked the dude, but he texted her and told her to set up another account. So other brother is in the process of hacking the phone account, and we are going to try blocking both at the same time, sending her a fake email saying he died from his "battle buddy" and him an email from her account saying she met someone.
Ms. GP is offline  
 
post #4 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 01:49 PM
Member
 
MJJEAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: MI
Posts: 2,165
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

Speak to an adult social worker. See what steps you can take to protect her. I'm not very familiar with the system for adults with mental illness, but I do know that there are options varying from nothing you can do to gaining custody of the disordered adult.
MJJEAN is offline  
post #5 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 01:55 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 550
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
Speak to an adult social worker. See what steps you can take to protect her. I'm not very familiar with the system for adults with mental illness, but I do know that there are options varying from nothing you can do to gaining custody of the disordered adult.
If I did that I swear, I would put her in a home with a chastity belt and no wi-fi!!!
Ms. GP is offline  
post #6 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 02:32 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,325
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

Here is one of the Dr. Phil clips I found on this topic:

The Investigation of ?David Chris Jr.? Continues: Is He Really a Catfish? | Dr. Phil

Here is more info:

http://www.drphil.com/advice/online-...-of-a-catfish/
kristin2349 is offline  
post #7 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 02:47 PM
Member
 
MJJEAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: MI
Posts: 2,165
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. GP View Post
If I did that I swear, I would put her in a home with a chastity belt and no wi-fi!!!
I used to work as a CNA in nursing homes and visited my grandmother (Alzheimers) when she was in a home. If you were to get custody and put her in a home, you better buy that chastity belt!

Horny old goats! I couldn't tell you how many times I accidentally walked in on two very senior seniors having a good time.

One home I worked in had velcro STOP! signs for the residents to place on their doors because the staff was just so done walking in on sexy time. It worked about half the time. The other half, they'd forget to put out the sign or be too caught up in the moment.
MJJEAN is offline  
post #8 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 03:00 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 550
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
I used to work as a CNA in nursing homes and visited my grandmother (Alzheimers) when she was in a home. If you were to get custody and put her in a home, you better buy that chastity belt!

Horny old goats! I couldn't tell you how many times I accidentally walked in on two very senior seniors having a good time.

One home I worked in had velcro STOP! signs for the residents to place on their doors because the staff was just so done walking in on sexy time. It worked about half the time. The other half, they'd forget to put out the sign or be too caught up in the moment.
I know. I've have friends that are nurses. I don't know if Medicare pays for STD's or not. If they do, I really don't care! LOL

I sent her the Dr. Phil links. Thanks for that.
Ms. GP is offline  
post #9 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 03:10 PM
Forum Supporter
 
blueinbr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 5,938
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

With her permission, access her checking or savings account online. Set up YOUR cell phone number for Alerts. In that way if your mom wires any money or withdraws funds from checking or savings or makes any transfers at least you will know the frequency and the amount. The notifications are normally instantaneous with the transaction so you would get a text immediately.
blueinbr is offline  
post #10 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 03:38 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,325
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

@Mrs. GP you said she is "disordered and delusional" to what degree? is she living on her own?

My Mom is a widow and she is wealthy. She also has a heart of gold and would give anyone with a sob story the shirt off her back and the contents of her wallet. Before my Dad died he set up his estate so I have control over pretty much every aspect of her finances. Scammers/family members still manage to find work arounds.

It sucks playing the heavy and trying to prevent or having to clean up their messes. If you know where she does her banking you can try talking to the manager of the branch and see if they have any ideas to assist you in safeguarding her accounts.

kristin2349 is offline  
post #11 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 04:05 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 550
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

She lives on her own, but my dad didn't leave her any money so it will be interesting to see if she can get a job. My dad was a physician and she was a counselor. (shocking I know) They basically ran a pill mill for several years of writing ungodly amounts of narcotics (btw the DEA was in the process of revoking his license when he died), not because they are bad evil people because they are delusional and believed every addict scammer that came along. It shouldn't be surprising that she is getting scammed now. I should copy parts of the emails. It's crazy!! She literally is telling the men she has never met, never talked on the phone, and only exchanged a few emails with explicit details of the sexual abuse she suffered as a child. It's absolutely nuts, and because they didn't tell anybody that she knows of (who are they gonna tell?), they must be trusted above her own children. It's nuts!!!
Ms. GP is offline  
post #12 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 06:12 PM
Forum Supporter
 
blueinbr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 5,938
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

See if you can convince her to give you Power of Attorney, should she get sick - "Mom, who is going to pay your bills if you end up in hospital...?" etc. That would at least allow you to monitor the accounts AND block transactions if you need to do that.

If she is that trusting, she should grant your request.

If she is truly delusional you can petition the courts for guardianship. Prepare for a fight but you are in to win the war, not the battle. For her sake. But is it worth risking her just shunning you afterwards.
blueinbr is offline  
post #13 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-25-2016, 08:26 PM
Member
 
GusPolinski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: TX, USA
Posts: 12,004
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

I'm about 99.99999% certain that there are precisely ZERO U.S. troops based in Syria.

At least legally.
Posted via Mobile Device

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
GusPolinski is offline  
post #14 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 12:58 AM
Moderator
 
EleGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 31,459
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. GP View Post
My Dad passed away about a month ago and my disordered delusional mother has taken to a dating website. She is getting scammed right and left. She almost sent some dude $300 dollars the other day. She is convinced she is in love with some 45 year old guy in the military. (She's in her 60's btw) after a few emails. No phone conversation because his commander won't let him. (eye roll) He says he's stationed in Syria. Does America even have any troops in Syria? He can't skype because he has an old laptop too. Did I mention she's delusional? I shouldn't care, but I'm the only one in the family that makes a good living and I don't want to bail her out. Any thoughts, ideas, or experiences? Thanks in advance.
Is there any way that you could get online and pretend that you are your mother? That way you could talk to him.

When my step daughter was in high school some guy in the navy tried to get her involved in a relationship. He was over 21 and my step daughter was 15 or 16. He was on a ship in the Pacific. By pretending to be her, I was able to get a lot of info out of him... like the ship he was on.

Then I found out the name and email address of the commander and send all of the info I had on the chats they had. I made it clear to the commander a man under his command was tyring to start a sexual relationship with my minor daughter. Well after that the guy never contacted her again.

My point? If you talk to him, you might be able to get enough info on him to shut this down.
EleGirl is online now  
post #15 of 35 (permalink) Old 06-26-2016, 03:39 AM
Member
 
imtamnew's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,155
Re: Help. Newly widowed mother is getting scammed on the internet.

Is that legal, pretending to be another legally adult person?

A sealed heart is the greatest penalty anyone incurs.
imtamnew is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Newly Separated - Need Advice SoccerDude Going Through Divorce or Separation 2 06-15-2016 08:26 PM
Mother in law crossing boundaries goodlife1 General Relationship Discussion 29 03-28-2016 03:36 PM
Need help: Mother in law situation goodlife1 General Relationship Discussion 9 03-24-2016 01:16 PM
Mother in law situation goodlife1 The Ladies' Lounge 10 03-17-2016 08:49 PM
Problem between wife and mother Ankit General Relationship Discussion 8 02-12-2016 11:54 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome