The Family & Parenting ForumsFamily dynamics can be exactly that - dynamic! Post here about family related issues such as parenting, blended families, step-families, new relationships with children involved, family of origin issues, in-laws or sibling issues.
16 yr old stepson 'borrowed' his dad's credit card several months ago and spend almost 800.00. when confronted a month later (we got the statement) he admited what he had done and worked around the house to pay back the amount.
I might add it was actually 'my' credit card that I had put dad on as a signor (sp) so I ended up paying for that.
He did it again a few months later, this time with my credit card and it was 300.00.
I had 500.00 cash stolen out of my desk in November. Nobody knows who did it. Dad says anyone could have done it and did nothing except ask once who did it. I wanted a full scale inquisition, but he didn't think it would do any good to find out who the culprit was.
Three days ago, my 1000oz silver bar was stolen out of our house. I called the police and made a report. It was worth over 17,000. Nobody knows who did it.
Today, I found out the same kid stole my credit card again and spent money at six flags where he works. He sheepishly grinned and said to his dad 'i was thirsty' and threw a couple of bucks on my desk and sauntered out. Dad did nothing else.
Between the money that the teen had admitted he stole and other infractions (like running up an 1800.00 cell phone bill!!!)
the teen in question owes me about 3600.00
He's working part time at six flags and he does turn over his paychecks to us.
However, he also lies about going to work and his schedule. He may be scheduled to work 20 hours a week and only bring home a check for under 40.00. He has lied also by saying he was at work and he was out with his freinds in the family truck.
This has GOT to stop. My husband's credit cards that were stolen were actually mine, but I put him on the card. I do trust my husband, he doesn't steal and insists that stealing is the 'worst' thing someone can do, but refuses to do anything about this out of control teenager.
What can I do? What would you do?
1. Call the cops and have the kid arrested?
2. ground the teen?
3. other?
I have reason to believe that this same kid was also behind my credit card 'fraud' charges from a few months ago to the tune of over 12,000. I may never be able to prove this, however. But the teens best freind just happened to turn up with clothing from the same stores my credit card was stolen from.
Also, this teen told me that he had 'borrowed' my credit card in September and 'lost' it at six flags at work. He claims this accounts for someone picking up the card and the fraud.
Frankly I'm angry enough to spit bullets and Hubby (dad) won't do anything about it other than yell at the kid a little bit and tell him he has to pay it back.
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
protect your credit cards !! change the numbers and only you have a copy ! its clear that daddy cant controll him or cant be bothered to , make it clear it will not be tollerated and call the police .
whats he using the money for ?
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
I think your stepson is learning from his father how to treat women and mothers. but actually he is learning from you, because you allow it.
Crack down on H in a big way in front of the son, and who knows, he might even 'fess up. If you don't firm up, another male will be "at large" in the world giving women a hard time.
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
I totally can't belive that you have let it go on ! not once or twice but more times . You need be strong and not allow it to happern again.
I would also be concerned to where the money is going ! drugs drink who knows !
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
I would call the credit card company and dispute all charges that weren't yours. I would cancel all cards except yours and do away with the additional card for your husband. I would invest in a safe that only you know the combination to and store anything of value in there. Additionally, I would ask the credit card company to reissue a new card (different number) for yourself in case he was smart enough to write your credit card number down.
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
OMG!!!! You Poor thing! I can't believe your husband is not doing Anything! you've had a 17000 dollar silver bar stolen, almost 20000 of charges on credit cards and all the other stuff you listed. Even if you can't prove your stepson did everything, he most likely did. The cash being missing... Everything... is very indicative of someone you know stealing from you. It would be absurd to say anyone else is doing it, as the past is the best predictor of the present and future. If your hubby wont' do anything, I would for Sure have your credit card numbers changed, I would even take hubby's name off of them, especially if the boy shares his name as a junior. This is just me, but if anything like that happened again, I would most certainly call the police, and have charges brought. This is insane! I can't believe this kid would do this to you. You might want to make sure he's not in to drugs too.... that is a distinct possibilty. What this kid is doing is felony theft of property. He is old enough to be charged as an adult also. I hate to say it, but if someone was doing it to me, I sure wouldn't let it continue. That is just my opinion, you have to do what you feel is right for you and the kid, and your hubby.
ps. once you report fraud charges on your credit card account, the card company can and usually will conduct an investigation, especially for an amount like 12,000 dollars. they can and will look at the cameras at the stores that the card was used at, and if they find that your stepson was the one doing this, or whoever it is , from what I understand, they can press charges against him/them.
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
What a laugh for a teen when he keeps getting away with it! Fat joke to share with his cronies. It stops here. Everything goes to the police. He needs to learn now that crime doesn't pay.
However, that is not the end. The whole area of youth in conflict with the law is a big one and there needs to be a plan to reclaim this young man. please take a look at this website The Reclaiming Youth Network for some help. The Response Ability Pathways course in communicating with youth is great. I have done it. Circle of Courage is an organisation which does fantastic work in helping young people to come to terms with difficult situations, and learn to be responsible adults.
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
Since hubby and i aren't legally married, i can't do much other than to press charges. I've already talked to hubby about that, and he was appalled i would even consider it. For my biological kids, i would in a heartbeat.
Yes, hubby is in, lets not upset the son mode. i mean really. oh well.
Have locked up the cc's, left one in hubby's name for now. he considers it grounds for divorce if i take him off my cc's. *rolleyes*
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
You're kidding, right?
H doesn't discipline his son for STEALING??? And then has the balls to threaten you with divorce for protecting your credit by taking his card away?
Oh honey, you SO have the tail wagging the dog in your family it's incredible.
I just literally felt my blood pressure skyrocket when reading your post. This is insane.
So...you lock up your cards...hope H doesn't leave his anywhere his felon son can get his hands on it...and just hope that the son doesn't have the number conveniently stashed away somewhere? Uh, NO! Get on the phone and have new cards issued. If you can't stand up to H, tell him because of the fraud claims you have filed, the company has issued a new card with a new number and only one card came in your name. If he needs a credit card, he can go out and get his own. Let son have access to THAT card!
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
snix11-
Now that things are going better on your other thread, you must work your way round to addressing this discipline issue soon as well.
I'm sorry but you come across as an absolute pushover. "No more Mrs. Nice person" is what you need. Read books on personal boundaries and self worth. You need accurate information on your place in the self worth spectrum. GET IT.
Once you are no longer in denial, you might get somewhere. You won't get anywhere if you kid yourself that this is not the case.
Gurdjieff once told a story of a man who deluded himself that he was a king. He lived in rags, but in his mind he was fabulously rich. Because he believed he was already wealthy, he made no attempt to earn money. He died a pauper.
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
On another note, hubby let his son go out till after 4am. I'm really worried that he will drive drunk. The son has been 'borrowing' the truck now several times a week, staying out with his friends till 4-5am all the time. Because the truck is registered in my name but i gave the truck to hubby as a present, i'm at odds as to what to do. what i want to do is to tell the teen that if he takes the truck again after 12am, that i will report it as stolen.
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
snix, I had a policy with my parents in HS, they knew I went to parties and drank.
I had 2 options. 1. call for a ride at anytime, or 2. Crash at my friends house and come home the next day. They knew I was safe and knew I was having fun but having it under control.
I was a better kid from the respect my mother gave me
Re: Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do?
I still reckon the one losing the most in this is the kid. He is getting himself into one hell of a mess. His values and own sense of self worth and worth of others is screwed. What else does he have to do to get the attention he needs and sense that he matters?
I hope somewhere, somehow someone will be able to get through to him and remind him that he is important and worthwhile.
Teen Stealing Credit Cards - what would you do? 
This is insane. 
