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post #16 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 02:39 PM
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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Originally Posted by oskar View Post
Yes because she'll be sitting there while he's running around playing with a bunch of fellow nerf gunners.

I guess they'll have quality time in the car ride so it's not a complete waste. Also she works hard all week, gets up early and works late, so on her day off she's getting up at the crack of dawn only to drive for 1/2 day and return home late. For no good reason as I see it.
The good reason is that your son will enjoy it. For some parents who care about their children, that is enough reason. Personally, I would just bring my laptop and work, or read a book. The car ride is, as you say, a good chance to connect. Providing fun experiences for my son is definitely never a "waste".

I can see why you are an ex. Very negative.

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post #17 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 02:41 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Parental decision dispute

I don't understand why people can't just respond to my question????

I see this all the time on here. Someone asks a question or specific advice and they get all these responses that have nothing to do with it!

I'm not asking about my relationship, I'm not asking if the boy should go or not go, I'm just asking if people think him going with the older guys is ok or not!

PERIOD
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post #18 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 02:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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I can see why you are an ex. Very negative.
Unless you're with the same person your whole life, you're an ex too.
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post #19 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 02:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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Originally Posted by Rowan View Post
Just a quick caution about turning this into a wrong/right thing with your wife. Two people can have very different opinions without either of them being wrong. Your wife is not comfortable sending him alone. That's not wrong of her, or over the top overprotective. But, neither are you wrong. Your own tolerance for risk in this situation is higher than hers. In this case, your wife is the one who will be giving up her day to chaperone him. It's not a hardship for you, but for her - one she seems willing to accept as the more cautious parent in this situation.
Best post on this thread.

I "liked" it
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post #20 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 02:44 PM
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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Originally Posted by oskar View Post
I don't understand why people can't just respond to my question????

I see this all the time on here. Someone asks a question or specific advice and they get all these responses that have nothing to do with it!

I'm not asking about my relationship, I'm not asking if the boy should go or not go, I'm just asking if people think him going with the older guys is ok or not!

PERIOD
If you think we're not responding to your question, you REALLY have a problem.

You DO sound very negative. Is there some reason you think you shouldn't try to help your wife enjoy her day?? Did that even cross your mind before I mentioned it?

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #21 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 02:48 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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If you think we're not responding to your question, you REALLY have a problem.

You DO sound very negative. Is there some reason you think you shouldn't try to help your wife enjoy her day?? Did that even cross your mind before I mentioned it?
Hope-

I am TRYING to make it a GREAT day for her by convincing her to stay home.

If she GOES then there's nothing I can do to help her enjoy it.

How is telling him he can't go or telling me to be less negative answering my question about whether it's right or wrong for him to go with the older boys?
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post #22 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 02:54 PM
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Re: Parental decision dispute

Oh man, lol.
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post #23 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 02:56 PM
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Re: Parental decision dispute

There are a ton of things you can do to help her enjoy the day.

First of all, stop trying to convince her not to go. She needs to go. Otherwise she wouldn't be going. ACCEPT that.

Then find out where she is going, and do some research on the place and see if you can make some suggestions to her of stuff she might find fun.

Then tell her "Hon, I know you really don't want to go with our son, and since I can't come with you I want you to make the best of the day. I did some looking and found this thing here you might like, and here's some money to do it with"

Would you lose your job if you took the day off and went with them?

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #24 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 03:00 PM
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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Originally Posted by oskar View Post
Hope-

I am TRYING to make it a GREAT day for her by convincing her to stay home.

If she GOES then there's nothing I can do to help her enjoy it.

How is telling him he can't go or telling me to be less negative answering my question about whether it's right or wrong for him to go with the older boys?
We're not addressing your viewpoint because sending a 13 year old out of state with an older guy you barely know who is not a licensed caregiver is not only preposterously irresponsible, it is legally questionable.

You've got bigger issues here than this one incident.
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post #25 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 03:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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Would you lose your job if you took the day off and went with them?
There is no way in hell I'm going to lose a day's pay to do something I think is totally unnecessary.

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post #26 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 03:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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We're not addressing your viewpoint because sending a 13 year old out of state with an older guy you barely know who is not a licensed caregiver is not only preposterously irresponsible, it is legally questionable.

You've got bigger issues here than this one incident.
Bigger issues in what sense?

This guy takes people all the time to these meets, he's well known on the internet for these get togethers.
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post #27 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 03:05 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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Oh man, lol.
You're amusing yourself at my expense.

Not Appreciated.
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post #28 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 03:08 PM
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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There is no way in hell I'm going to lose a day's pay to do something I think is totally unnecessary.
AAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDDD here we have it. It's all about YOU.

If you aren't even willing to listen here, I'm done, because you're just being *edited*

You apparently have the kind of marriage where you fail to look for the good and positive things, or try to make something positive happen, or actually LISTEN to your wife and try to make her life BETTER.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #29 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 03:08 PM
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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It's all good fun and our boy has made some friends, mostly older kids in their late teens and twenties.
This seems very simple to me. If you or your wife aren't going to be there, NO, he is too young to go on his own. These "older kids" are adults in some cases, and your 13 year old shouldn't be taking trips with them where you or your wife aren't present.

Have you heard teen boys and adult men talk on road trips? Your son isn't mature enough yet for that.

When he's older, he can go on unsupervised trips with older teens and adults. Right now, your son is a LITTLE kid compared to the "older kids" and needs you to protect him from stuff he's too young for.

And maybe, just maybe, he could use some friends his own age.

.
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post #30 of 47 (permalink) Old 08-04-2016, 03:09 PM
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Re: Parental decision dispute

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Originally Posted by oskar View Post
he's well known on the internet
And we ALL know just how SAFE it is to know someone from the internet!!!!!!!!!!

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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