IMO, the worst thing that can happen to any kid is to have parents who cannot agreed on their values, policies and standards of behavior etc.
I say it's all good let him go, she says no way is he going with boys we don't even know.
At 13, both of you either trust your child to handle himself with kids you don't know - or you don't. If you, as the parents, have done the right things, your kid should have the tools to deal with other kids in nearly any situation. If you don't trust these other kids to do what is right, don't let your kid fall into their clutches!
I say she's over protective she says I'm not being cautious enough.
IMO, you're both right and you're both wrong!
The point is that you need to HAPPILY agree on your policies and tactics regarding how to HELP your son grow up and be responsible and self reliant.
I suspect that this is opening up deeper and more disturbing issues between your wife and you so please don't pull your innocent son into the antagonistic drama that you and your wife are caught up in. Please settle your differences the best you can WITHOUT burdening your innocent son.