Got a woman coming over. . .
Hey, BTW, thank you to all for welcoming divorced people at this forum. I did value my marriage very very deeply and still want to be a student in it.
Anyway, divorced 5 years now. . .my son is 19 living with me while he works a summer job. He's a good kid.
I feel my role as the divorced parent, the way it has worked out, is that my ex tends to be the "model parent". . .she immediately evolved to a relationship whereas I have shown my 3 boys how to "live single." I know my ex-wife and her guy, well, they sleep separately in the house but travel together whatnot. Show affection in front of the kids but that seems to be it. They are companions in every sense of the word though. My ex is pretty proper with conduct. Me, I have lived a "single life". . now, to be clear, I have hardly been promiscuous. . .in a monogamous relationship for 3 years. I was alone for 1 year, this last year. But I always thought it was a nice complement that my boys could see "How to be Married" (MOM) and "How to be Single" (DAD) because chances are. . .they'll be both in their life. (one of the very, very few advantages of divorced parents over married)
Anyway, I am being "waved in" here by my new squeeze.
My question: Is it in bad taste as a parent to ask my son to scram for a night like a buddy/roommate, that I have a woman coming over? Like I said he's been living with me. He does have friends he could go over for 1 night. He'll ask why and I am a bad liar.
I mean. . .I guess I have been kinda the "cool parent" in that they come to me for relationship/sex questions (not often, a couple of times) whereas she has been the asexual one, focusing on education and even discipline more. I am very careful though to when they compare me to her and say, "I"m not going to make her be the bad cop/bad guy here." I have talked about STD's, girls wanting to get pregnant young, and all that with them.
I guess we do play bad cop/good cop though with me as "good cop." It's probably a fair criticism and I have tried to change with that, but I tend to be too easy going.
But, well, I admit it feels a bit weird and like we are friends instead of parent/child.
And maybe I seem a bit confused. . .but maybe, I got you pegged! Ha! Don't know what to do about those tossed salad and scrambled eggs. . .they're posting again. Scannerguard has left the building.