Wow, so much better for sure. H and I met in Sept and I knew within about a month of meeting him that he was "the one", but I was a little wild, and in the back of my mind sometimes wondered if I was kidding myself in thinking I could be a good and faithful W. We got engaged in Jan and planned a late July wedding. In June I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. His family are fundamentalist Christian (he left the faith before we met), so this would really be a disappointment to them, but we both knew we wanted children eventually so there was really no way we could live with the choice to not have this baby just because of bad timing.
Anyway, we got married in July, oldest was born the day after my H bday in Jan. We were flat broke, newly married, and never happier. He was a wonderful husband and father, and any question I had about my ability to be good W or mother went right out of my head because I was so content and happy that they were all I thought about. It didn't bother us a bit that we were broke. We'd sit on the couch and see who could make her laugh the most, and then go to bed and talk about how lucky we were. Our sex life really didn't suffer, a slight drop in frequency was easily made up for in the fact that we were so happy and so close emotionally that the sex we did have was better than ever.
Fast forward three years. H has worked really hard and gotten promoted several times, I have a good job with good hours, money isn't quite as tight, we've bought our first house, firstborn is walking and potty trained and we're good. However, I have no health insurance due to change in job, and of course that's when birthcontrol fails and I get pregnant with youngest. Once again timing is bad, everything else is right, so we wade right in and have #2. Son is born in Jan, H is over-the-moon happy. We now have boy, girl, mom & dad, everything is perfect...right. Except that I get post partum depression, which 18 years ago no one talked about so I just thought I was a bad person who didn't trust herself to go out alone with her kids. H sees that something is really wrong and pushes me to get help. His value in my mind goes through the roof as within a few weeks I feel so much better and can relax and enjoy my family again. I could have lost months or even years of bonding with my son if H hadn't supported and helped me and I've never forgotten that.
So the years pass, the kids grow up, and they've only brought us closer. There were days when we were so mad at each other that one or the other wanted to just walk out, but you can't because you have kids and they need picked up and fed and bathed and then pretty soon one of them does something so hilarious that you can't help but laugh, and once you're both laughing it's harder to remember what you were so mad about. There have been times over the years when our sex life suffered a little because of schedules and exhaustion etc. On the other hand there have been times when I haven't been in the mood at all and then I'd catch H teaching the kids how to change a tire, or see tears in his eyes when our daughter cried over a broken heart, and at that moment he is the sexiest man on earth. Good Dad got him a lot of sex over the years.
Now oldest is out of the house and youngest is a Sr. We're alone at home more, which has been very good for our sex life, and our emotional connection is so much stronger having watched each other be good parents to our kids.
I know it isn't the case for every couple, but for us having children, and honestly having them early in our marriage, was one of the best things for our marriage. It did change our relationship over the years, but only for the better.