Re: I think my husband and mother-in-law are TOO close
Yep, that's bizarre to me.
Can you explain to me what you mean by her grooming his thighs? I'm not familiar with that term, but it is creeping me out.
I have girls, and I am an only child, and we are all far from prude, so changing in front of each other is common, as it was and still is with me and my mom. We are all women though! BIIIGGG difference. I know many wouldn't be comfortable with that either, and I would respect that opinion.
I would have never done those things with my dad! If my husbands mom ever did anything remotely like you described he would so totally flip out. He won't even kiss her on the cheek, and he hates it when she kisses him on the cheek.
So you are far from wrong, your feelings are very justified.
It's time to drop a little bit of that respect for your Mother in Law...she isn't respecting you at all. I would choose my words carefully....
"I know you and my husband have a very close relationship. I mean no disrespect to you, but I am often uncomfortable with your level of intimacy with him. Changing in front of him, opening the door when he is going to the bathroom etc. I need no explanation for why you do these things, but I need you to know they make me very uncomfortable. It is hard for me to say that to you, but I know how important your sons happiness is to you, and this is aversely affecting our marriage. I hope you can respect my request for those actions to stop."
Is she going to react well? Hell no. She's gonna be mad most likely...but she will have to think about it. Whatever she says, I would just keep repeating, "I respect your opinion on that, and I hope you can respect mine too."
We wish you much happiness too sweetheart!