Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?
Had a discussion with the W about this last night at dinner. As before, she is adamantly opposed to telling him the truth about paternity. She believes that would "take me away from him" in his eyes, and start questioning which parts of him are from his mother, and from bio Dad. He would also keep trying to find the bio Dad, which would be problematic, in her opinion. She doesn't care if he looks down on her for her life choices during that period of her life, but she wants to protect him from the pain of questioning his connection to us.
I pointed out that he might be upset, but could come to look at his parents in a new light and understand our relationship better (meaning I rescued her from a potentially troublesome life at a lower social-economic status, being a single-mom and probably ending up with a loser husband).
My only concern is I wouldn't be able to answer his questions about the bio Dad. All info comes from the W and according to her, she has very chant information about this man (not enough to perform any type of worthwhile search). She totally excludes the other guy (which I do have a lot of info on) because of his blood type and eye color. I know eye-color is not a a good gauge for paternity but not sure about blood type. Apparently when she called him after pregnancy, he told her his blood type and she determined later that he couldn't be the father.
The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married - John Fischer