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post #46 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-09-2016, 07:55 PM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

Maj,

You can at least provide him with 1/2 of the full truth, that you are not his bio-dad. You are not obligated to lie just because your WW does.

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post #47 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-09-2016, 07:56 PM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

Maj,

That your WW continues to lie about this is also an issue, did you think about getting a polygraph for her.

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post #48 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-09-2016, 09:14 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

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What are your eye colors (yours, hers, your son's)?
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W and I both have brown eyes. Son has blue eyes.
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post #49 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-09-2016, 09:45 PM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

My ex wife and I both have brown eyes. Our daughter has blue eyes. I was told she got this from my dad, who had blue eyes.
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post #50 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-09-2016, 09:57 PM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

1 in 5 children will be born with brown eyes. I have 5 children. Husband has brown eyes, I have blue. Youngest is only one with full brown eyes like daddy.

Youngest daughter has macrophaging of the right eye which is predominantly blue with a full stripe of brown (it's called partial monochromatic Iris, an indication of parasitic twin syndrome, also a possible indication of chimerism).

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post #51 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-09-2016, 09:59 PM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

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1 in 5 children will be born with brown eyes. I have 5 children. Husband has brown eyes, I have blue. Youngest is only one with full brown eyes like daddy.

Youngest daughter has macrophaging of the right eye which is predominantly blue with a full stripe of brown (it's called partial monochromatic Iris, an indication of parasitic twin syndrome, also a possible indication of chimerism).

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Now I'm going to quote myself to make a point...

Genetic/medical heritage is absolutely essential. He deserves that truth, to know his genetic and medical heritage.

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post #52 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-09-2016, 10:13 PM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

Tell him you have something important that you need to discuss.
When you start the discussion, tell him you know that it's something that he is likely to get upset about (he'll probably assume you're gay, or splitting up, etc) but that he needs to know for the very valid medical reasons 225985 mentioned. This will give him a chance to ready himself, and to be ready for his emotion that he is going to be upset and his world upside down for a while - but at the same time that you're putting his needs above your own guilt/concerns.

Then it won't sound so corny when you say you care and that you would have kept it from your son forever but also felt he should know the truth.

It also means you're telling him for his sake - not for your own. which should be the case <hint>

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post #53 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-10-2016, 12:54 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

https://dna-paternity-testing.com/wp...nity-chart.jpg

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post #54 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-10-2016, 01:23 AM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

I would find out who the father is first, if you can. Surely she knows their names? With google these days, moving away doesn't mean disappearing. Then you can present a complete story to your son.

Either way though, whether or not you find the father, he does need to know. This concerns him completely.
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post #55 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-10-2016, 05:00 AM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

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Honestly, some days I think about it. But could I really find a great woman, about my age, with no negative baggage or problems? Maybe/maybe not.
Lol! You have a 21 year old son that isn't yours that you opted not to tell that he's not yours biologically. I'd say that's some negative baggage/a problem. And who gets divorced without taking some negative baggage with you? You expect more than you are offering.
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post #56 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-10-2016, 05:07 AM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

That chart doesn't make sense. If both parents have blue eyes (and approx 30% of the population does), there's a 99% chance the child has green eyes according to that chart. But green eyes are very rare, like 2% of the population. Maybe I need some help with my math here, but I can't see how that's right.

Not so sure I'd use that lab for my testing!

Here's one that has the exact opposite for two blue eyes parents:




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post #57 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-10-2016, 05:46 AM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

Regarding eye color, we now know there is more than one gene to control for eye color, so I don't think it is considered as simple as that chart anymore? Or that was how I read these. https://www.sciencedaily.com/release...0222180729.htm How Blue Eyed Parents Can Have Brown Eyed Children | Understanding Genetics
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post #58 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-10-2016, 09:28 AM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

Yeah, something is off with Maj's chart. Both of my parents had blue eyes. All three offspring have blue eyes.
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post #59 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-10-2016, 09:35 AM
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

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Yeah, something is off with Maj's chart. Both of my parents had blue eyes. All three offspring have blue eyes.


Or something is off with the "parents".


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post #60 of 86 (permalink) Old 09-10-2016, 09:35 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Should I tell my son I am not his biological father?

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Originally Posted by vel View Post
I would find out who the father is first, if you can. Surely she knows their names? With google these days, moving away doesn't mean disappearing. Then you can present a complete story to your son.

Either way though, whether or not you find the father, he does need to know. This concerns him completely.
I don't have much to work with: a nickname, a possible birth state, a possible work industry, and an approximate age. I know this doesn't speak well for my W but these are the facts as told to me.

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