IMO, "discipline" needs to happen to HELP a child learn and grow up knowing right from wrong or understanding things and NOT just to satisfy the angry, humiliated or vengeful NEEDS of the Disciplinarian.
Originally Posted by Looking2Change View Post
She's the one that will yell at him whenever he does something wrong.
So is this "yelling" intended to help and improve your son or merely satisfy your wife's need for retaliation, control and emotional relief? Exactly how does YELLING help or improve anyone? All yelling ever did for me was set up a permanent sense of intimidated dread, humiliation, fear, extreme stress and ultimately bitter HATRED for my very ignorant parents.
I hardly ever yell and choose to take the stern approach and tell him I'm disappointed in him and make him talk about what he did wrong and why his action impact others and/or himself. I feel my way gets thru to him better and he learns more from his mistakes.
Your "method" could help him more than yelling and intimidation, provided your son respects you and actually learns something from you.
Anyways, that's just how we are different.
Yes, one of you is helping your son while the other is mentally damaging him and the mental damages will over-ride the help in most cases!
Our son is a lazy eater so if you're not constantly telling him to take another bit he will never finish his meals.
Is he "lazy" or has he learned to do that just to get the attention he wants but cannot get any other way? Have you both unwittingly conditioned him to eat that way just to get some attention from you?
The past few days he went to school without drinking his almond milk w/Mirilax and my wife freaked out on him. Yesterday, he skipped his milk again and as a punishment my wife made him pay her $4 for the cost of the milk. I totally don't agree with this but she insists it's how he will learn.
To teach him something or satisfy her need for REVENGE?
CHARGING AN 8 YEAR OLD MONEY BECAUSE HE DIDN'T DRINK HIS MILK?????
Probably better than YELLING at him!
Am I wrong in thinking this was a terrible decision on her part or did she do the right thing?
You tell me! Was she RIGHT???? You are WRONG for failing to protect your innocent son from his abusive mother IF you believe she is NOT doing what is right! You are the only other powerful person in your own home who can and SHOULD protect your own son from abusers!!!!!
This morning he drank all his milk without issue. I know she is just going to put the $4 back in his savings but she won't tell him she did.
So not only is she abusive, she also likes to play MIND GAMES with her own child! Whew, someone needs to step up and protect this helpless little kid from his own parents! I'm sure there must be a lot of ways to HELP a child learn to be responsible WITHOUT intimidation and mind games - all of which are only meant to PLEASE the needs of the very foolish parents.