I don't want to beat up on him and I don't want him to come off as a jerk, because he is a great husband. There's just these things that after we talk, things heat up, he changes for a while, then it's back to the way it was. I keep thinking that it's all a matter of time and the kids will be out and on their own.
Go back to the therapist, by yourself if you have to, and ask for concrete steps to take to ensure things don't slide back to how they used to be. Ask about boundaries and consequences.
Come to an agreement. You have at least 8 more years of this. Your marriage won't survive it. Your daughter might not (sorry).
For instance, my H has basically stopped helping around the house since he started his own business. Now that he has that as an excuse, he's run with it, though before that he rarely did anything anyway. So to deal with my boundary being crushed (needing a husband who pitches in), I have enacted my consequence that protects me from the pain of being his little handservant and hating myself for it. I have stopped putting away his clothes. I'll wash them, hang them up. But then they just lay on the back of the chair or hang on the doorknobs.
Unless he does something for the house. Last week he fixed the light that had been out in our closet for 3 months. So I hung up one of his pairs of pants. The rest are still on the chair, where I told him they are. He wants to move back over to the other side of my boundary and help me take care of the house? I'll hang up some more.
What I'm trying to say is, don't be blind about what you're getting in this marriage, and what you're not getting. What he's doing is upsetting you and you're choosing to let it slide. I'm here to tell you, if you let things slide in the first 5 or 10 years of a marriage, you'll almost never get them righted later on. Now is the time to stand firm about what you want and need.