Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs. - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 12:20 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

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I really think she needs to learn a lesson
Damn that's cold. I can only imagine the conversations you'll have when you're speaking to her through the glass panel.

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post #17 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 01:42 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

OP really sorry to hear of your troubles. Count me with the crowd that says to help your daughter out. The results of helping or not are both life altering for her.

Word of warning. I live in said 'legal' state and have heard of and experienced how law enforcement deals with 'transporting'. Bordering states will definitely profile and stop vehicles. I was stopped 3 times on my way to Kansas before even leaving Colorado. All three had BS reasons for stopping me. And not one even wrote a ticket.

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post #18 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 01:59 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

Do the police know that she brought it in from Colorado? If so, how do they know?
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post #19 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 06:21 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

15 years for THAT?!?! Holy crap that's brutal.

Tell her to move up here to Canada - it's gonna be legal sometime next year in our whole country
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post #20 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 06:33 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

That sucks. She should have moved to Colorado, who wants to live in OK? Ha.

I'd spend whatever dollar to fight those B.S. charges. Soon it will be legal everywhere (well, maybe not OK/KS/UT), so these charges should be nulled in the future anyways.
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post #21 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 07:17 PM
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OP...learning a lesson is one thing...but a felony will damage her long term future...in a BIG way. If you let her flail and take the heat...this will be a critical moment of neglect in both yourrelationship with your daughter and your marriage.

I haven't been a "resident" in prisons or jails...but have worked in new facilities and existing ones..dozens of them..please believe me...you DO NOT want her in there. Its not orange is the new black...its gladiator school...and IME, female prisons are worse in terms of violence and long term damage than male prisons.

Bite the bullet and save her from herself. You will also be saving yourself a ton of heartbreak and sleepless nights
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post #22 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 07:22 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

It's hard for me to believe that a father would be so evil as to allow for the possibility of a 15 year jail sentence for his daughter "to teach her a lesson".

I'm not saying that this story is untrue (only because it's against the rules) but I am saying that I hope it's a work of fiction because there is truly enough evil in the world and we don't need any more.
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post #23 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 07:40 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

Absolutely agree.
Prison is not a "learning experience" it is a life destroying one. My sister spent 3 months in prison for a minor crime that got out of hand (shoplifting, pulled a can of mace when security grabbed her).

Its bad, really bad. Stories like being told to keep a watch out for guards while a couple of the women beat and abused another woman - or face having the same done to her. That's separate from the abuse by the guards.





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Originally Posted by MarriedDude View Post
OP...learning a lesson is one thing...but a felony will damage her long term future...in a BIG way. If you let her flail and take the heat...this will be a critical moment of neglect in both yourrelationship with your daughter and your marriage.

I haven't been a "resident" in prisons or jails...but have worked in new facilities and existing ones..dozens of them..please believe me...you DO NOT want her in there. Its not orange is the new black...its gladiator school...and IME, female prisons are worse in terms of violence and long term damage than male prisons.

Bite the bullet and save her from herself. You will also be saving yourself a ton of heartbreak and sleepless nights
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post #24 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 07:56 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

Tough situation since the crime does not match the punishment as it were. She does need some form of punishment or consequence but the sentencing is too harsh and may do more damage than good. Her choice is one of immaturity that odes not affect another's well-being other than her own, she is not that high as a potential danger to society.

Lets say she was caught drinking and arrested at 19 for drinking but was cognisant enough not to drive and put others lives at risk: She is essentially being punished for a DUI.

She does need to grow and make more mature decisions but from little of what is on here, this is quite correctable. Kick her out, make her pay you bakc with interest. Take away more of that security blanket or give her goals of what she needs to accomplish should she remain around to prove she can grow from this.

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post #25 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 08:11 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

I'm all for helping your daughter too, I would in your shoes, but I'd also take into account that she's 24 years old, a grown woman, not a teenager.

She would have to pay us back, and it would be made clear to her that this is the last time we bail her out.

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post #26 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 08:23 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

Let me add. When my sister went to prison, I could have paid for a lawyer that likely would have kept her from serving any time. I also figured, "she did a bad thing, 3 months might straighten her out". I've never forgiven myself for that mistake. Prison doesn't straighten people out.
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post #27 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 10:18 PM
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Cool Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

Oklahoma is a hardass state for being arrested for possession and intent to distribute!

You need a good, experienced, competent criminal defense attorney who can help you maneuver around this most difficult morass!

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post #28 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 11:05 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

.

Last edited by AP3; 11-02-2016 at 07:13 PM.
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post #29 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-26-2016, 12:55 AM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

I understand that way of thinking. It was part of why I didn't try to get her released. But that is thinking of prison like being kept late at school. Its not like that. Sometimes it is OK, sometimes not. In my sisters case she got into a fight early on. Guards don't care who starts it (knowing her, I don't think she did - not her style), everyone gets bumped up to max security. (for-profit prisons get more money that way). She hasn't talked about what happened to her specifically, but beatings and rape by both guards and inmates happen all too frequently.

Would any parent what their child raped - no matter what they had done?






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Neither does bailing them out (especially if it's not the first time). I'm not saying this is/was your situation.
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post #30 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-26-2016, 04:26 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

My wife and I are going to help her, we just wish she learned the first time.
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