Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs. - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-24-2016, 11:12 PM Thread Starter
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Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

Last week our 24 year old daughter and two of her friends went to Colorado to get some of the legal kind. Not that me or my wife have ever supported it but we know she has done it in the past. Anyway, she and her friends decided to risk trying to bring some back with them only they were caught and promptly arrested. They are all facing some fairly serious charges, we did bail her out, but she is now going to face some real consequences. My wife doesn't want this to affect her and is saying we should spend as much as we can to get her a good defense attorney and even help with any fines etc. she may have. Personally, I don't want to, not that I don't love my daughter but I really think she needs to learn a lesson, this isn't the first time she's run in with the law either. When she was 19 she was arrested for having marijuana. We bailed her out then as well.

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post #2 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-24-2016, 11:35 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

What state was she arrested in?
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post #3 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-24-2016, 11:44 PM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

What state? How many grams? Felony or misdemeanor? Are talking lesson or LESSON? Like a fine or 8-10 in the pen?? Personally this would make a huge difference for me whether I was willing to let her fall or fight for her.
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post #4 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-24-2016, 11:48 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

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What state? How many grams? Felony or misdemeanor? Are talking lesson or LESSON? Like a fine or 8-10 in the pen?? Personally this would make a huge difference for me whether I was willing to let her fall or fight for her.
Oklahoma. 1 oz of weed, felony.
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post #5 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 12:01 AM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

Pretty serious... lawyer up, invest up front, have her pay you back on a payment plan... it's a hand up, not a hand out.

This is a big deal, but getting it reduced can help only if she walks a path of understanding the cause and effect of her decisions.

Last edited by Emerging Buddhist; 10-25-2016 at 12:06 AM.
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post #6 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 12:18 AM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

Talk to a defense attorney and find out how the courts/judges usually handles a first time offense of this type. There is a difference on what the laws say and what judges do.

She will most likely get some kind of probation if it's her first offense. But she needs a good attorney.

I agree with the idea of helping her, but she has to pay you back.

How much did she have on her?

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post #7 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 12:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

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Talk to a defense attorney and find out how the courts/judges usually handles a first time offense of this type. There is a difference on what the laws say and what judges do.

She will most likely get some kind of probation if it's her first offense. But she needs a good attorney.

I agree with the idea of helping her, but she has to pay you back.

How much did she have on her?
It's not her first offense, and I said it was 1 oz.
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post #8 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 12:34 AM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

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It's not her first offense, and I said it was 1 oz.
Oh, I thought that you mean that the law says that 1 oz is the bottom limit for a felony. OK.

How many other offenses does she have? Were they felonies or misdemeanors?

Have you helped her in the past with her other offenses?

With my step son we got to the point that we told him that jail is clearly where he wants to be since he kept doing stupid stuff.

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post #9 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 12:53 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

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Oh, I thought that you mean that the law says that 1 oz is the bottom limit for a felony. OK.

How many other offenses does she have? Were they felonies or misdemeanors?

Have you helped her in the past with her other offenses?

With my step son we got to the point that we told him that jail is clearly where he wants to be since he kept doing stupid stuff.
Oh in OK even one gram of weed is akin to killing someone. Well, obviously hyperbole but we have some very draconian drug laws. Hell, it's due to the drug laws that OK has the most incarcerated women in America. She just has the one other offense of marijuana possession at 19.
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post #10 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 12:59 AM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

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Oh in OK even one gram of weed is akin to killing someone. Well, obviously hyperbole but we have some very draconian drug laws. Hell, it's due to the drug laws that OK has the most incarcerated women in America. She just has the one other offense of marijuana possession at 19.
Then she does not sound like a lost cause like my step-son. So if you can help her, you probably should.

What sort of a sentence do you think she will get?


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post #11 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 01:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

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Then she does not sound like a lost cause like my step-son. So if you can help her, you probably should.

What sort of a sentence do you think she will get?
I have looked it up and in OK being her second offense, especially for trafficking it could be up to 15 years.
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post #12 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 01:58 AM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

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I have looked it up and in OK being her second offense, especially for trafficking it could be up to 15 years.
Yep she needs a good lawyer.

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post #13 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 08:14 AM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

You think she needs to learn a lesson for 15 years? And you say you love your daughter? I'd hate to be your enemy if this is how you roll with those you 'love'.
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post #14 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 10:16 AM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

God I hate the drug laws in this country.

The best you can do is get her a good attorney and try to keep her out of prison.
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post #15 of 50 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 10:25 AM
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Re: Daughter and her friends were arrested for drugs.

Unfortunately, "teaching her a lesson" with something like this may mean her life is destroyed. Prison will change her as a person and make it very difficult for her to get employment afterwards. Some people need a lesson that strong to turn it around, but it can be a very damaging process in many ways.

I would help her in this case to get off. Maybe consider helping her to move to Colorado where it won't be an issue if she wants to keep using. Personally, I don't feel that marijuana is all that bad and not necessarily a problem if someone uses. I'd feel differently if this was something stronger like meth or heroin.
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