Christmas drama already - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-02-2016, 03:10 PM
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Re: Christmas drama already

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
We are having a family gathering in December which will basically be our Christmas get together because many of us are doing other things Christmas day. There is only one date that we can do in December that fits in with my sisters work schedule. Sister in law has said she cannot make that date because she is going to a concert. Mum said she is disappointed that she cannot come but she is welcome to come Christmas day. (We basically went ahead and booked the restaurant anyway).

Now SIL has become very angry and has accused us of deliberately leaving her out of the family gathering .

We tried to negotiate another day to fit in with SIL but sister cannot change her shifts. So now we have to cancel the restaurant and not have a family gathering this Christmas because it will upset SIL. We are trying to arrange for 20 people to agree to a date in January/February

Am I being unreasonable to think that SIL needs to suck it up and just say 'thanks but no thanks' and let us get on with the family gathering without her. I can't imagine saying the same thing to my in laws - if I can't go I just send an apology, not expect them to change everything to fit in with me.

I am happy to be wrong with this one but could do with some advice before getting a plan of action together to try please everyone.

Let the festive season begin.....
You will not make everyone happy all the time. Some are just going to have schedule conflicts. Not your problem.

Gosh, I remember all that hub bub years ago. My W and I and finally said enough. If you want to see us Christmas our door is open. Peace settled over the land!!!


You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-02-2016, 03:28 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Christmas drama already

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Originally Posted by Yeswecan View Post
You will not make everyone happy all the time. Some are just going to have schedule conflicts. Not your problem.

Gosh, I remember all that hub bub years ago. My W and I and finally said enough. If you want to see us Christmas our door is open. Peace settled over the land!!!
Thank you. That is what I was thinking. I think the context around her being hurt is that her family live at the other end of the country and she misses them. I don't think I had appreciated that. Anyway - sorted now.
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