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post #31 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 01:34 PM
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Re: my daughter

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I have taken Zumba. She chose the yoga and swimming. It is something she can do well- she is a former college swimmer - so I think she wants to stick with that, although I know what you say that it isn't burning many calories but I guess I feel good being her wing man in working out.
I think I quoted the wrong post here, but if she is wanting to change things, then small changes are good!

You probably already know this, but less refined carbs/more protein is a great goal. One of the things that really motivated me when losing weight after my kids were born was seeing the effects. Even if she makes one or two changes, like eating less refined carbs and more proteins and veggies, over time she may notice a weight loss. That can be very motivating.

For me, it was getting over that first hurdle that was the hardest.

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post #32 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 01:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: my daughter

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I think I quoted the wrong post here, but if she is wanting to change things, then small changes are good!

You probably already know this, but less refined carbs/more protein is a great goal. One of the things that really motivated me when losing weight after my kids were born was seeing the effects. Even if she makes one or two changes, like eating less refined carbs and more proteins and veggies, over time she may notice a weight loss. That can be very motivating.

For me, it was getting over that first hurdle that was the hardest.
yeah I agree. I told her that using myfitnesspal really helped me, as I didn't know how many calories I was ingesting before and how it opened my eyes to Macros. She said she doesn't like counting calories. (I hated it at first too.)
She graduated with a double major in animal science and biology so she should know how it works. Lacks some resolve, as her husband has awful habits and I'm sure it's easier to say yes than no.
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post #33 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 01:48 PM
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Re: my daughter

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yeah I agree. I told her that using myfitnesspal really helped me, as I didn't know how many calories I was ingesting before and how it opened my eyes to Macros. She said she doesn't like counting calories. (I hated it at first too.)
She graduated with a double major in animal science and biology so she should know how it works. Lacks some resolve, as her husband has awful habits and I'm sure it's easier to say yes than no.
So she's really smart. That is great! She knows what to do and is just struggling for the motivation. I can relate.

We all lack resolve. And yes, being with a partner who has bad habits makes it so much harder.

Like I said - for myself, I had to get to a certain point (after my kids were born) before I was even open to it. She has to get to that point to, and that is up to her and I don't think you can change it. When you can really help is AFTER she gets to that point.

Sorry for not being of more help. I think she is very lucky to have you though.
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post #34 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 01:48 PM
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Re: my daughter

Sometimes women gain weight to become unattractive, so as to get their spouse to avoid them.
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post #35 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 01:50 PM
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Re: my daughter

I think that a good, healthy diet plan that is not too restrictive would help. Check out this book:


The South Beach Diet Supercharged: Faster Weight Loss and Better Health for Life

There are also cook books available for the South Beach Diet.

My primary care doctor has a wellness clinic for weight loss as an additional office. They apparently have their patients following the South Beach Diet with a lot of success.

It basically teaches how to eat healthy.
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post #36 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 01:53 PM
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Re: my daughter

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I think that a good, healthy diet plan that is not too restrictive would help. Check out this book:


The South Beach Diet Supercharged: Faster Weight Loss and Better Health for Life

There are also cook books available for the South Beach Diet.

My primary care doctor has a wellness clinic for weight loss as an additional office. They apparently have their patients following the South Beach Diet with a lot of success.

It basically teaches how to eat healthy.
I second this. The South Beach Diet is great.
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post #37 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 01:56 PM
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Re: my daughter

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Originally Posted by katies View Post
I have taken Zumba. She chose the yoga and swimming. It is something she can do well- she is a former college swimmer - so I think she wants to stick with that, although I know what you say that it isn't burning many calories but I guess I feel good being her wing man in working out.
Something you can do is to ask her to take walks with you. If they are vigorous enough they will help burn calories and perhaps will increase her desire to exercise more. I agree if she likes swimming she should stick with exercise that is fun for her.

Weight gain can come from a variety things. It could be as others have pointed out due to stress from marriage or other parts of life. The walks may enable discussion to find out more about what is going on in her life. She could after all just like eating.

I suffer from that. I just like to eat and I also stress eat. Work intensity has recently taken time I used to dedicate towards exercise and with stress eating I have gained about the same as your daughter.

I've been through this before. I used to be over 300lbs 15 years ago. People telling me to lose weight didn't work. My low point was when I couldn't get on a roller coaster with my kid anymore because. That was big enough to encourage me to start along with some other issues. I started to walk more as a way to deal with stress but it helped with weight loss. The walking really helped make me feel better and eventually I moved to running and other activities until I lost over 130lbs.

Over the last year and one half I've gained 75 lbs and I am starting with the walking again. My wife has said I need to lose weight but that didn't matter because I was coping with other issues. Now that I've dealt with this issues I am ready to lose again.

So if you can use the time you spend with her to discover what her issues may be if there are any you could perhaps help with the cause.

I don't want to not live because of my fear of what could happen. - Laird Hamilton
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post #38 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 02:01 PM
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Re: my daughter

I'm posting this at Hope Shimmers urging.

For clarification: Yes, my wife had gastric bypass surgery. Her dietary requirements are as per instructions from the surgeon, GP and nutritionists. That being said, the surgery is not a magic wand. Half the people who had the surgery gain the weight back.

This is a touchy subject for my wife and I and I apologize for any ill feelings I caused.
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post #39 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 02:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: my daughter

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Something you can do is to ask her to take walks with you. If they are vigorous enough they will help burn calories and perhaps will increase her desire to exercise more. I agree if she likes swimming she should stick with exercise that is fun for her.

Weight gain can come from a variety things. It could be as others have pointed out due to stress from marriage or other parts of life. The walks may enable discussion to find out more about what is going on in her life. She could after all just like eating.

I suffer from that. I just like to eat and I also stress eat. Work intensity has recently taken time I used to dedicate towards exercise and with stress eating I have gained about the same as your daughter.

I've been through this before. I used to be over 300lbs 15 years ago. People telling me to lose weight didn't work. My low point was when I couldn't get on a roller coaster with my kid anymore because. That was big enough to encourage me to start along with some other issues. I started to walk more as a way to deal with stress but it helped with weight loss. The walking really helped make me feel better and eventually I moved to running and other activities until I lost over 130lbs.

Over the last year and one half I've gained 75 lbs and I am starting with the walking again. My wife has said I need to lose weight but that didn't matter because I was coping with other issues. Now that I've dealt with this issues I am ready to lose again.

So if you can use the time you spend with her to discover what her issues may be if there are any you could perhaps help with the cause.
thank you for sharing your story! I love your quote by Laird Hamilton too, for my own sake.

I will look into that book about the South Beach diet! Thank you.
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post #40 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 02:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: my daughter

thanks Clown.

I purchased it on a kindle - because I share books with the kids - and also, because she has an eye condition where she can only read very large text (could be another issue for her to be depressed about) - she is actually legally disabled but still works.
I sent a message to the family text saying it's available to read as I just bought it because I heard it was good on clean eating and that I might learn a thing or two.

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post #41 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 02:28 PM
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Re: my daughter

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thank you for sharing your story! I love your quote by Laird Hamilton too, for my own sake.

I will look into that book about the South Beach diet! Thank you.
That's the diet my doctor recommended for me. In the end I just ended up calorie counting to average a loss of 1lbs/week. For my matabolism it was 1400-1600 eating per day plus at least 150 cal/day of exercise on average to start.

Thanks, I'm glad you found the quote interesting. Learning that lesson has really helped my life in multiple ways.

I don't want to not live because of my fear of what could happen. - Laird Hamilton
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post #42 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 02:29 PM
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Re: my daughter

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Originally Posted by KillerClown View Post
I'm posting this at Hope Shimmers urging.

For clarification: Yes, my wife had gastric bypass surgery. Her dietary requirements are as per instructions from the surgeon, GP and nutritionists. That being said, the surgery is not a magic wand. Half the people who had the surgery gain the weight back.

This is a touchy subject for my wife and I and I apologize for any ill feelings I caused.
Thanks KillerClown.

Your wife's situation with gastric bypass surgery is not the same as someone who isn't undergoing that same situation. So those details are important in replying to these messages.

Still, knowing all the possible choices in such a situation matter. I am glad that she is doing well and that she has you for support. Honestly, I would love to have a man support me in anything that matters to me, so don't discount that. Take care and best wishes to both of you.
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post #43 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 02:47 PM
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Re: my daughter

One positive aspect is that she's working out regularly. Exercise provides many health benefits in addition to helping with weight loss. Even if she never loses a pound, working out will make her healthier. She will improve her cardiovascular system, strengthen her bones and all connective tissues, improve organ function, decrease risk for diabetes, and many more benefits. She will also look better. Her skin will appear healthier and her posture will be better.

She may always struggle with her weight, but the health impacts of that can be minimized if she continues to work out. Being her workout partner is probably a huge motivation boost for her to keep going. Keep doing that as much as you can. Chances are, she's much more likely to go more often and workout longer with you than if she had to do it herself.
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post #44 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 05:57 PM
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Re: my daughter

My wife and I are both overweight, me more than her.

What we do is we take a walk every day, we aim for a minimum of 8 miles a day, sometimes we do more, if we can.

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post #45 of 47 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 08:21 AM Thread Starter
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Re: my daughter

Thanks MattMatt. I think walking is highly underrated. She could do that with her husband and I think walks her dog at night.
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