Thanks for asking; I should have updated.
I made arrangements to go to DisneyWorld as you know. My wife said it was fine, but was all kinds of passive-aggressive about it and sad.
During that time when the arrangements were being made we were with another family that we occasionally hang with when something about Disney came up and I off-handedly mentioned that we were going. Their oldest daughter (we've known her forever, she used to go to our school, sit our kids) said how lucky we were and how she wished she had the opportunity to go. I kind of jokingly said she could come with if she'd be able to pay her way. Within a week after a few discussions I had my au pair to be with my daughter when she went to the restrooms, when we needed an even number of riders, etc. Her fam thought it was a good idea, she certainly did, my kids did, too. My wife didn't object - and yes, we did discuss it. We agreed to pay the young lady's food costs (she had her own room, of course).
And then a week later suddenly it wasn't so tough for my wife to agree with me that family comes first and it wasn't difficult at all for her to get out of the other trip.
We had a great family vacation to DisneyWorld full of memories and fun. We took the au pair with us, which provided my wife and me a few hours alone both in the park and out
Another teacher took my wife's spot on the school trip and all was well there. My wife and I have decided that we need more family vacations.
As for records and such, I almost had a heart attack when I saw one number coming up dozens of times. Turns out my wife was letting my daughter text one of her friends (my daughter doesn't have her own phone, the friend does), so the thing I freaked out about was about a hundred messages of pre-teen girl chatter.
As for the only guy I'd suspect at all, since 2013 she's called his number once - on a snow day because his name was next on the snow tree.