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post #16 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 04:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

@EleGirl - its a bit complicated but he hasn't cut her out, just wants to make sure his children get there share. [Back story] When they first got married she wouldn't allow him to pay for his children's education and became very resentful of any money he gave to them, she never worked or contributed until very recently. He is now asserting himself and saying his estate (which isn't large) is to be dividing among 5 people (his wife will get half - the remaining among his children). What his wife would inherit would not buy her any kind of home, nor support her for more than a few years. Her job is unstable (she has a habit if quitting) and has no real employable skills.

Her parents have not contributed any money to any of their children as far as I am aware.

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post #17 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 04:27 PM
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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
Hi everyone!
Just wondering how you would feel about this particular situation.

If you have 5 adult children, 4 of these children are living fairly well, good jobs, nice homes and comfortable lifestyle (but not very wealthy - just well-off), but 1 adult child only works a few hours a week on the minimum wage, is wholly dependent on their spouse, has no investments or property of their own....

Would you leave your entire estate to the adult child who has the least...
Would you leave it to all your children equally...
Would you leave them sums that are pro rota to their net worth...

Thanks for you opinion.
Treat them equally, if at all possible! Otherwise, it is your option and yours alone, to treat the children named in your will the very same as they have treated you, or have truly demonstrated a bonafide need of financial help!

Either way, do not publicize any of your sentiments to any of them!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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post #18 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 04:35 PM
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

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Originally Posted by peacem View Post
Hi everyone!
Just wondering how you would feel about this particular situation.

If you have 5 adult children, 4 of these children are living fairly well, good jobs, nice homes and comfortable lifestyle (but not very wealthy - just well-off), but 1 adult child only works a few hours a week on the minimum wage, is wholly dependent on their spouse, has no investments or property of their own....

Would you leave your entire estate to the adult child who has the least...
Would you leave it to all your children equally...
Would you leave them sums that are pro rota to their net worth...

Thanks for you opinion.
I am always completely fair to my children, they would all receive the same amount. I think it would be very hurtful to them if they were left different amounts. As if you valued them differently and had favourites.
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post #19 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 04:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

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How do the other 4 treat the 5th child? Would they help her if she needed it?
Sorry missed this question - none of the children have a good relationship with the less well off adult child (manipulative and trouble making), but get on well with each other.
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post #20 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 04:48 PM
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

To hell with giving it to ANY of them. I want to spend mine long before THEY get it!!

Seriously, it should be split equally no matter what the life circumstances are of each of them. There's no better way to split a family up than a lopsided will.
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post #21 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 04:49 PM
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

I would split equally because of the hard feelings that any other action would cause.

My father wrote my sister out of his will, so I gave her half when he died.
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post #22 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 04:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

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To hell with giving it to ANY of them. I want to spend mine long before THEY get it!!

.
Nearly put that as an option . I tell my parents to spend, spend, spend. So hard when they have been incredibly thrifty all their lives...
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post #23 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 04:56 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

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I would split equally because of the hard feelings that any other action would cause.

My father wrote my sister out of his will, so I gave her half when he died.
What a lovely person you are.
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post #24 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 05:14 PM
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

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Sorry missed this question - none of the children have a good relationship with the less well off adult child (manipulative and trouble making), but get on well with each other.
Even more reason to leave them all the same if she is a trouble maker. It would be as if she was being rewarded for being lazy and acting badly. How would that make them all feel?
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post #25 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 05:15 PM
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

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I would split equally because of the hard feelings that any other action would cause.

My father wrote my sister out of his will, so I gave her half when he died.
How painful that must have been for her.

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post #26 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 05:18 PM
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

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To hell with giving it to ANY of them. I want to spend mine long before THEY get it!!

Seriously, it should be split equally no matter what the life circumstances are of each of them. There's no better way to split a family up than a lopsided will.

As long as you don't expect any of your kids to house and wipe your ass until your last days.
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post #27 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 06:04 PM
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

My wife and I tried to hard to get both our parents to spend their money, but they are just not from that generation.

My father ended up in a nursing home that got most of it - so splitting with my sister wasn't all that noble.

My wife's parents grew up in the depression so they were just not able to enjoy spending money. We feel bad spending it on frivolous things, but we don't have children, so we don't really need to save it for anyone.


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Nearly put that as an option . I tell my parents to spend, spend, spend. So hard when they have been incredibly thrifty all their lives...
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post #28 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 06:11 PM
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

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I would split equally because of the hard feelings that any other action would cause.

My father wrote my sister out of his will, so I gave her half when he died.
It's great that you did this for your sister as some might find it quite uncomfortable going directly against the deceased person's choice as they do have a right to choose.

I know of someone in a similar position to you who chose to give something to their siblings' children instead of direct to the siblings.

In general, barring ill health or some other valid circumstance I would leave everything equally to my kids for the sake of harmony.

But just to reiterate, well done you for sharing the inheritance.
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post #29 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 06:34 PM
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

My family had all sorts of issues, including my father's mild mental illness. The question of whether or not to follow his wishes was tricky, but in the end I saw no harm in doing what I thought was fair.





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It's great that you did this for your sister as some might find it quite uncomfortable going directly against the deceased person's choice as they do have a right to choose.

I know of someone in a similar position to you who chose to give something to their siblings' children instead of direct to the siblings.

In general, barring ill health or some other valid circumstance I would leave everything equally to my kids for the sake of harmony.

But just to reiterate, well done you for sharing the inheritance.
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post #30 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 08:57 PM
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Re: Hypothetical question....inheritance

I would split it equally no matter what their circumstances are. To not to would be to punish the successful children. That doesn't make sense to me.

My only exception would be if we gifted money to help them buy a home. That would be considered an "advance" on their inheritance.
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