Re: my husband won't let me have an abortion
For another reason I signed up for this forum and before I could post my troubles and saw your post and felt compelled to reply.
When I got a verse tome, I had to go through an emotional evaluation to prove that I really wanted it, and my wife had to sign it. The point is that it is not a negotiation on either part, but a joint decision.
Five years ago my wife and I had two incredible children and we discussed whether or not we should have a third. The end result of the conversation was a consensus to not try, but not NOT try for a month and if it happened, it happened.
While we were having sex a month later, I came inside her (we used the pull out method). She freaked out because she had changed her mind and neglected to tell me. Sure enough, she got pregnant with our third at a time when we didn't think we could handle it. We decided to go forth with the pregnancy and now we have three kids.
It's hard. It's not easy. Raising three young kids and trying to do the right thing. We have less time. We see less of each other. And I would not have changed my decision for the world. My life without my third would be less full than my life with him. Our family is stronger. We make it work. No matter what.
The point is, communication before, during, and after having a baby is key. The fact that the communication did not happen beforehand is not your unborn baby's fault. Mostly people who are not well mentally are the ones who claim that their unexpected babies were a bad decision. You will have to be stronger and overcome bigger hurdles, but overall it will make you two stronger. Work together. Communicate. Love.
I don't know how old your other children are, but it is amazing how much they step up to the plate when needed. Set that expectation with them. They have responsibilities now along with you. Raise that kid. There is no shortage of love within us and you will surprise yourself.