12-22-2011, 07:54 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In an igloo.
| | Re: Sister in law Issues
Whenever I see posts from first generation Americans, my heart swells with recognition. It is so easy for others to say "Do whatever you want" because they don't understand how rigid cultural traditions are. Everyone is a a product of their environment and culture plays a huge role in the way people live their lives.
My husband comes from a reserved WASP clan, while I come from a loud and emotional Caribbean family. When we didn't allow my parents to plan a splashy wedding for me and eloped, we were cut off for about a year. It is tradition that a daughter have a large wedding paid for by her father. Sons can have elope or have small weddings, but daughters are required to be a showpiece. My husband was uncomfortable with how overbearing my mother was and I didn't want to let her think that she could control our lives after the wedding. I did what would have been best for the boundaries of our marriage, but it came at a heavy price.
So do whatever you like, but be prepared for the inevitable fallout. Your SIL has been very rude and you were right to confront her about the ring comments. Discuss this with your husband and come to an agreement about what you will and will not tolerate from his family.