Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
The Family & Parenting Forums Family dynamics can be exactly that - dynamic! Post here about family related issues such as parenting, blended families, step-families, new relationships with children involved, family of origin issues, in-laws or sibling issues.

User Tag List

 62Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 08:57 PM
Member
 
MJJEAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: MI
Posts: 2,169
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

Quote:
Originally Posted by brooklynAnn View Post
I asked if everything was alright and he said mum, you don't need to know everything about me.

I am trying to get him to learn to talk but nothing is working with this boy.
Just because he's not talking to you or his now ex-GF's doesn't mean he isn't talking. He's a teenager, yes? He is probably very naturally becoming more independent of his family. He probably is talking to certain people of his own choosing.

I remember when my boy was little. He simply refused to walk. My daughters were walking as soon as their chubby baby legs could hold them up, but not my boy. Drove me nutty! I tried everything. No dice.

I had a friend who had 5 children. The youngest were a set of fraternal twins just a few years older than my boy. My friend offered to babysit so I could go out with DH. Lo and behold, my son met her daughter and was quite happy to hold her hand and walk all over their 3 story house, stairs and all. If I hadn't seen the video I would never have believed it.

Your son will talk when he has something to say and someone he wants to say it to.

I really liked my DD#2's former BF. They were together for a little over two years and he lived with us for a time when his family moved away and abandoned him. (They literally told him they were moving and, since he'd turned 18, they weren't taking him with them...3 days before they moved.) She broke up with him and he moved out at the end of last summer. I still miss him. He came to see me for Christmas, and we do keep in touch, but it's not the same. DD moved on to a new BF and is living with him. I'm not a fan, but I'm keeping my opinion to myself and hoping she doesn't get pregnant and/or marry him.

DD#1 has been living with her BF for over a year. They allegedly have plans to marry. They live out of state, so I didn't meet him until the came to visit for a few days this last Christmas. I adore this man! If they don't work out for some reason, I will be so bummed!


Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.

Last edited by MJJEAN; 03-02-2017 at 09:03 PM.
MJJEAN is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #17 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 09:57 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,873
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

I'm curious what you want him to talk about? He has a full plate, from what you described, but it sounds like he doesn't want to share love life details with you. Are you expecting the same type of communication from him you share with your daughter?
phillybeffandswiss is offline  
post #18 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 12:15 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,870
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

Quote:
Originally Posted by phillybeffandswiss View Post
I'm curious what you want him to talk about? He has a full plate, from what you described, but it sounds like he doesn't want to share love life details with you. Are you expecting the same type of communication from him you share with your daughter?
I truly believe that women expect men to communicate in the same way women do. However, most men don't. When they don't, the same women throw up their hands and say "I told him, but he didn't listen!". Some women are great at communicating WITH OTHER women, but not so much with men. In the meantime, society tells us that women are the better communicators, so it must be the man's fault. Yet we wonder where the disconnect is?

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is online now  
 
post #19 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 12:29 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,193
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

You say your son calls over on Sunday to see you.Keep interfering in his love life,talking to his EX girlfriend about him behind his back and you might get to see him for Christmas.You are coming across as the mother from hell,giving your unwanted opinion about his love life.
How would you feel if he read what you just wrote about him.Keep your nose out of his business because that's what it is,HIS business.
Andy1001 is offline  
post #20 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 03:06 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,873
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
I truly believe that women expect men to communicate in the same way women do. However, most men don't. When they don't, the same women throw up their hands and say "I told him, but he didn't listen!". Some women are great at communicating WITH OTHER women, but not so much with men. In the meantime, society tells us that women are the better communicators, so it must be the man's fault. Yet we wonder where the disconnect is?
My question is more about the closeness of mothers and daughters vs mothers and sons. My wife and our daughter talk about everything. She gets frustrated because there are certain things fathers and sons talk about to the exclusion of mothers. I'd say sex and girlfriends are at the top of the list. This sounds like one of these situations. Yes, even if he was raised by her, there are things boys do not want to discuss with their mother.
phillybeffandswiss is offline  
post #21 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 03:24 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,870
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

Quote:
Originally Posted by phillybeffandswiss View Post
My question is more about the closeness of mothers and daughters vs mothers and sons. My wife and our daughter talk about everything. She gets frustrated because there are certain things fathers and sons talk about to the exclusion of mothers. I'd say sex and girlfriends are at the top of the list. This sounds like one of these situations. Yes, even if he was raised by her, there are things boys do not want to discuss with their mother.
I have no argument with that. Heck I remember my ex being all wigged out because my daughter had me wrapped around her little finger. In the meantime she got all wigged out about things our son was doing. What she didn't realize is that he was doing the same to her as my daughter was doing to me. I had never been a teenage girl, going thru my period. I had however been a teenage boy and knew exactly what kind of scam my son was running on her. She wouldn't listen to me though. She was the great communicator, she knew better. She cried a lot but I don't think she ever learned. Hopefully the OP will learn to be less judgmental and more understanding?

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is online now  
post #22 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 03:51 PM
Forum Supporter
 
TX-SC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,471
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

Well, according to TAM logic, his gut told him she was cheating so he broke up with her immediately. Many here would applaud his response.

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk

"You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind!" Victor Von Frankenstein
TX-SC is online now  
post #23 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 11:27 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,873
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

LOL, wrong TAM forum logic, this isn't CWI. They aren't married and they are High School teens. TAM logic, in this case, is they are too young to be serious and he needs to make mistakes.
phillybeffandswiss is offline  
post #24 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 12:38 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,870
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

Quote:
Originally Posted by phillybeffandswiss View Post
LOL, wrong TAM forum logic, this isn't CWI. They aren't married and they are High School teens. TAM logic, in this case, is they are too young to be serious and he needs to make mistakes.
IF and that is a big if, he really made a mistake.

You are correct, they are young, this might just be the natural course of action taken by someone who is finding out who he is. Perhaps the exGF was a cheerleader. He had gone out with her because that is what jocks are supposed to do. But now he has discovered he really isn't into that type of personality? Perhaps the exGF was his "mistake"?

Who are we to say he made a mistake, all we know is he broke up with her and the reason we were given by his exGF was an innocent meeting with a family friend in Mexico. We don't know what the boy was thinking. He may have even given her this reason because now he is interested in Sally or Mary or Megan or Missy or Josie or whoever.

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is online now  
post #25 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 05:45 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,873
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
IF and that is a big if, he really made a mistake.

You are correct, they are young, this might just be the natural course of action taken by someone who is finding out who he is. Perhaps the exGF was a cheerleader. He had gone out with her because that is what jocks are supposed to do. But now he has discovered he really isn't into that type of personality? Perhaps the exGF was his "mistake"?

Who are we to say he made a mistake, all we know is he broke up with her and the reason we were given by his exGF was an innocent meeting with a family friend in Mexico. We don't know what the boy was thinking. He may have even given her this reason because now he is interested in Sally or Mary or Megan or Missy or Josie or whoever.
LOL. I don't know why this thread bothers you so, I will explain myself once more and then we are done in this thread. My comment is in GENERAL. I responded to the poster above because the entire "OMG Gut= cheating" is differentiated among many parents into "they are young and/or they make mistakes" in the parenting forum. His mom thinkks he made a mistake and is dumb or an idiot. So, I'm responding in general to her thinking mistake, cheating and other things are important to teen dating right now. There isn't a bunch of CWI bickering politics about cheating, reconciliation and gut instincts in here.

phillybeffandswiss is offline  
post #26 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 06:01 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,870
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

Quote:
Originally Posted by phillybeffandswiss View Post
LOL. I don't know why this thread bothers you so, I will explain myself once more and then we are done in this thread. My comment is in GENERAL. I responded to the poster above because the entire "OMG Gut= cheating" is differentiated among many parents into "they are young and/or they make mistakes" in the parenting forum. His mom thinkks he made a mistake and is dumb or an idiot. So, I'm responding in general to her thinking mistake, cheating and other things are important to teen dating right now. There isn't a bunch of CWI bickering politics about cheating, reconciliation and gut instincts in here.
Why is that whenever you attempt to have a conversation about something it automatically assumed you are "bothered" or "upset". I was responding to you saying the kid needs to make mistakes. I disagree that he made a mistake in this case. We simply don't know and that is all I am saying. If you think that is a sign I am "bothered" you are very confused.

OTOH this thread does highlight the disconnect between what society (which many women and some men accept) that women are the better communicators.

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is online now  
post #27 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 06:05 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,873
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
OTOH this thread does highlight the disconnect between what society (which many women and some men accept) that women are the better communicators.
Nope, not confused, this shows me you anger level thanks.
phillybeffandswiss is offline  
post #28 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 08:28 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,870
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

Quote:
Originally Posted by phillybeffandswiss View Post
Nope, not confused, this shows me you anger level thanks.
LOL, you are extremely confused. I was making an observations. But that's OK only you are allowed to make observations, anybody else is just "bothered"

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is online now  
post #29 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 10:23 PM
Member
 
TaDor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,096
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

I don't remember much important from my late-teen years. But a lot of things my parents think they know about me as a teen - they didn't and don't really know. Somethings yes, as we were pretty good on communications. But at age 17, there was some sort of parent<>teen drama in which they has assumed I was still a virgin. I didn't say anything other than chuckle "yeah, right" - which shut them up. None of their business and I was amused by their assumption. Of course, I never told them I was sexually active at 11 or anything else from before.

Remember, in general - boys are supposed to be "men" and hold their feelings in, etc. Because crying or being human is "weak" bs...

A friend of mine has excellent communications with his daughter since she was little, so things about sex WERE discussed when she was early teens that she was curious about. No shame, no insults - just truth and facts. That is the kind of communication we strive for to teach our toddler.

If he isn't offering to talk, not much you can do about it. People 17~20 typically KNOW-IT-ALL and nobody understands them junk... The most you can say "I'm here for you if you ever wanna talk".

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.
TaDor is offline  
post #30 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 10:54 PM
Forum Supporter
 
SunCMars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: North Coast Nationalist-burg, U.S.A.
Posts: 1,885
Re: Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating

Be happy. He is too young to bury his heart in some girls chest.

Do not be surprised if some "looker" gal does the same thing to him.

So far his heart beats for himself. When a girl finally hooks him, his tongue will extend so far out of his mouth he will trip over it.

At that age, most boys want to do the picking for themselves. They will pass up real beauties and get stuck with an elusive, selfish Tart that HE WANTS.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
SunCMars is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What's going on? Kukabura Coping with Infidelity 303 03-16-2017 10:48 PM
First Post - Need help, *long Post* MrW General Relationship Discussion 92 10-12-2016 02:19 PM
Why the "red pill" is bitter tech-novelist Politics and Religion 591 09-23-2016 01:58 PM
Article: Why Women Leave Men They Love MAJDEATH General Relationship Discussion 54 03-29-2016 12:59 AM
men are difficult ? Soveryalone The Ladies' Lounge 10 12-26-2015 03:39 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome