So I have been giving this topic some thought. I think most people here hit my thoughts. I think part of the issue (as mentioned already), the OP has referred to her son as stupid and an idiot. Now, I would hope the OP hasn't actually called her son this to his face (and I do understand some of this is just venting online), but don't be surprised if just through conversation he has gotten that impression she feels this way about him. Right there that is a big negative.
According to the opening post, the OP called her son a "stupid boy" to his ex. So you not only are actually calling him stupid in person to someone, but now it appears that you decided to take the side of his ex. Another huge negative here (if I was your son, regardless of whether I was right or wrong, I would hope you would ultimately have my back, which in this case it doesn't appear so). Also, what happens if the son talks to his ex and she says the OP referred to him as a stupid boy?
I think the bigger issue, it is clear the OP has some sort of bias against men (young?). Just look at these quotes:
I just don't want him to become one of those men who can't communicate.
I think it's young men. The girls are still taking. And the boys are still internalizing everything and can't express themselves. This is his second relationship. The first one broke up with him because he needed to speak more and he would not talk that much to her. So, she end things. Now here we are agAIN.
So just because two people (or I guess how you view it men/women) communicate differently, you view communication done differently then how the females do as an inability to communicate
Who says these girls are talking? Who says their way of communication is any better? I may actually start a separate thread on this topic b/c it is an interesting discussion.
I bolded part of the quote above, b/c once again, it appears you are taking the side of his first GF (i.e. it was all his fault, he needed to talk more and didn't).
Not trying to bash you at all @brooklynAnn
. However, I think taking the approach where your son has to communicate like a female, or taking the female side of things over him, I can guarantee you that he has sensed this, and will only push him further away from openly communicating with you.