Elderly MIL from hell... - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 08:10 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Elderly MIL from hell...

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Originally Posted by m00nman View Post
I don't envy your husband's situation, but at 85 I wonder how mentally sound she is as well. As with her own siblings, she may have some sort of dementia as well and may just not be expressing them as prominently. Clearly, she is no longer self reliant but it should not be the job of any single offspring. You already have that burden with a special needs son of your own. Is there somebody else outside of the family who is impartial who could take on her power of attorney?
We have thought about her having dementia, in fact she was recently screened at the Drs because of memory problems. But no..just old age forgetfulness. TBH is has acted crazy ever since I have known her, my husband and his brother talks of bizarre behaviour when they were children. She recently believed that the devil lived next door but one in the form of a Buddha figure on a shelf. She asked a minister to go to the house to exorcise it (this is how the neighbour found out and passed her concerns onto us - one of many odd stories). She started her own religious 'cult' (my word) in her home where she was self appointed leader - it all got out of hand and a bit weird to say the least. She could have some kind of schizophrenia but she doesn't tick enough boxes as she is very sociable. Ticks more boxes for narcissistic personality disorder.

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post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 10:40 AM
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Re: Elderly MIL from hell...

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We have thought about her having dementia, in fact she was recently screened at the Drs because of memory problems. But no..just old age forgetfulness. TBH is has acted crazy ever since I have known her, my husband and his brother talks of bizarre behaviour when they were children. She recently believed that the devil lived next door but one in the form of a Buddha figure on a shelf. She asked a minister to go to the house to exorcise it (this is how the neighbour found out and passed her concerns onto us - one of many odd stories). She started her own religious 'cult' (my word) in her home where she was self appointed leader - it all got out of hand and a bit weird to say the least. She could have some kind of schizophrenia but she doesn't tick enough boxes as she is very sociable. Ticks more boxes for narcissistic personality disorder.
I'm not a psychologist but I think it's a safe bet that there's something more than mere Narcisism going on with her. What you've outlined sounds a lot more like borderline personality disorder.

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topi...er/index.shtml
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post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 12:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Elderly MIL from hell...

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Originally Posted by m00nman View Post
I'm not a psychologist but I think it's a safe bet that there's something more than mere Narcisism going on with her. What you've outlined sounds a lot more like borderline personality disorder.

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topi...er/index.shtml
I guess its irrelevant what is actually wrong with her, but she definitely has bpd symptoms. Huge issues around abandonment, everyone walks on eggshells as she gets upset over weird things, paranoid, impulsive anger over nothing (sweet old lady one minute, shouty angry the next), she can be very childish (sulking, not speaking to people, tantrums).

But she is also very arrogant and haughty. She feels entitled to other peoples things and time. She is constantly competing with people and competing by using her children. She is the ultimate control freak and thinks she knows everything about everyone. She is very negative and complaining with black and white thinking. She gets jealous over little things but thinks everyone is jealous of her. She talks about her children as though they are perfect in every way, but criticizes them harshly behind closed doors. She doesn't like her children being friends (we have to get together in secret). And she lies like a cheap watch...seriously everything she says is either twisted out of context or completely made up.
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post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 02:05 PM
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Re: Elderly MIL from hell...

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And she lies like a cheap watch....
I've never heard this before but I'm definitely going to use this in the future! (sorry, I know you don't find it funny)

"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
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post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 04:48 PM
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Re: Elderly MIL from hell...

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We have thought about her having dementia, in fact she was recently screened at the Drs because of memory problems. But no..just old age forgetfulness. TBH is has acted crazy ever since I have known her, my husband and his brother talks of bizarre behaviour when they were children. She recently believed that the devil lived next door but one in the form of a Buddha figure on a shelf. She asked a minister to go to the house to exorcise it (this is how the neighbour found out and passed her concerns onto us - one of many odd stories). She started her own religious 'cult' (my word) in her home where she was self appointed leader - it all got out of hand and a bit weird to say the least. She could have some kind of schizophrenia but she doesn't tick enough boxes as she is very sociable. Ticks more boxes for narcissistic personality disorder.


She is someone's dissertation-in-waiting!
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post #21 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 05:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Elderly MIL from hell...

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She is someone's dissertation-in-waiting!
I remember going on holiday with some friends just after that incident and I was REALLY worried. We were sat on a train (5 hour journey) and told them the latest MIL story and their reaction was the same as yours - in fact they pumped me for more stories to pass the time. I should write a book but it would be too far fetched.
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post #22 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 11:46 AM
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Re: Elderly MIL from hell...

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I remember going on holiday with some friends just after that incident and I was REALLY worried. We were sat on a train (5 hour journey) and told them the latest MIL story and their reaction was the same as yours - in fact they pumped me for more stories to pass the time. I should write a book but it would be too far fetched.
Oh, you NEED to write a book. It would sell like crazy, people love to read that kind of stuff.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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