It's hard to remember but there was actually a time that I did get along with my in-laws. In fact, I was invited to dinner with the family every night until we got married. I thought everything was going to go well. I actually got along better with them then my own family. Then the **** hit the fan. Soon AFTER the wedding, my wife announced that she had no intention of helping me with the expenses of the family and instead expected to quit her job and be a SAHM. We talked about this at length BEFORE the wedding and she said she fully intended to work and help out. I suddenly felt I had been scammed.
Instead of the friendly treatment I got before by the in-laws, I was all of the sudden "Mr. *******". I was never again invited to a meal at their house and was told that I better make more money if my marriage was going to survive and I also was EXPECTED to buy a house. I didn't make much back then and all I had money for was a small house several towns over from the in-laws. This however was not acceptable. It wasn't big enough for "their daughter". Meanwhile my wife's cousin married a millionaire who I was constantly compared to: he was great and I sucked. The only time I was invited over was at holiday get together's where I would be publicly ridiculed for how "poor" I was. I starting hating Thanksgiving and Christmas. That's how things went until FIL suddenly passed away and we had to move cross country because my wife got me fired at my job. I however retained the title of Mr. ******* by MIL because I "purposefully moved the family away" from her.
Good grief our in laws do sound alike.
When we were engaged I found a lovely house to rent that was in the next village, it was a friend of my mothers so got it at a knockdown price, we both earned about the same (how can my son possibly afford that! You are taking advantage of him!
). A year later we bought a small cottage (not good enough, made of brick, garden not big enough, I was tying him down with a mortgage). Then we had our first baby and we both
wanted me to be a SAHM (you are taking advantage of him, its not fair!
). Before this she had complained about women who go out to work and that the children suffer for it - she hasn't worked a day in her married life.
Whatever I do for my husband is never good enough. She quizzes him about birthday presents and always complains that its not much. Holidays are never good enough either - she blames everything on me being a SAHM and us not having enough money. But the reality is we are very well off, so much so that my husband recently went part-time so we could raise our disabled child together.
I am lucky in that my husband is aware of what she is like, that she is manipulative and everything she says has an agenda.