Teenagers and sex? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 08:36 PM Thread Starter
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Teenagers and sex?

I realize EVERY kid is different and there is no right answer here. But, for the parents here, at what age do you anticipate teens start having sex these days? What is considered normal? If your son or daughter told you, or you found out, your teen was sexually active, at what age would you think "She's too young!" or "Okay, she's old enough." Yes, I do realize maturity level plays a big part here. I'm talking in generalities mostly.

I think I'm being an overlly protective dad!



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post #2 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 10:48 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

I was about 11 when I had my first real kiss, 12 when I started "making out", and 15 when I became sexually active. I was about average for my peers. I knew some who were having sex by 13 and a few who didn't until they were around 17. I fully expected my kids would become sexually active around 15 or so and wasn't shocked when my daughters were around that age and asked me to take them in to the Dr. for birth control. Standard safe sex lectures covering both STI's and pregnancy prevention as well as a talk about not allowing pictures or video because it's far too easy for such to be shared with all and sundry were given.

At least you're saney seeking others opinions. On the day I was scheduled to see the doctor for my birth control prescription, my dad decided to take to his bed, refusing to drive or speak to anyone. My mom couldn't drive due to her disability, so she had to have a friend drive us.

By the time my younger sister and brother were teens, dad had a large glass bowl of condoms on the counter near the door. *sniff* Parents grow up so fast!

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #3 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 11:13 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

More than 40 percent of unmarried U.S. teenagers -- or 4.3 million teen males and females -- have had sex at least once, a new U.S. government report shows.

More Than 40% of U.S. Teens Have Had Sex | Family Health | US News


• On average, teens have sex for the first time at age 18 (Finer & Philbin, 2014).

• By age 15, only 16 percent of teens have had vaginal intercourse. By age 19, seven in 10 have had intercourse (Guttmacher Institute, 2014).

• Only 38 percent of 15- to 17-year-old males have engaged in oral sex, and only 33 percent of 15- to 17-year-old females have engaged in oral sex (Copen et al., 2012).

• Teens are as likely to engage in first oral sex before intercourse as they are to engage in first intercourse before oral sex (Copen et al., 2012).


https://www.plannedparenthood.org/fi..._English_1.pdf

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post #4 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-06-2017, 11:27 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

When I first became sexually active I was 17, my girlfriend was 16. It still took a couple months to round all the bases (Handjobs, oral, etc). Her parents were very religious, and it had to be a huge secret. She was not allowed to even ask about birth control, because it was a sin (not catholic). My parents weren't religious, but just never really talked to me about sex at all. Everything I knew, I learned from friends and porn.

When I look back, I realize how stupid we were. No protection at all, I just pulled out every time. I remember thinking that you had to be 18 to buy condoms, and she thought a parent had to go with her to get her on birth control. We didn't really do much research. Every month I would pray that she would get her period, and whenever she did I was always so damned happy, and would convince myself that the unprotected sex needed to stop. That went on for about 14 months or so.

She was my first everything, sexually. I was definitely not her first anything. After a year of dating her, I found out that she had hooked up with a guy that I absolutely hated. This all happened before she and I even met, so it's not like she cheated on me. But just knowing that she had sex with that guy, that he was walking around everyday thinking about having sex with her, it just was too much for me. I ended up breaking up with her for that very reason. I gave her some other song and dance about how I was about to graduate, and it was pointless to keep dating, but really it's because I was so jealous of her sexual past. I really wish I'd not broken up with her over something so stupid. What did I care? While she obviously wasn't who I was supposed to end up with, we had a good thing going. I hope to teach these lessons to my son, and hope that he does the opposite of pretty much everything I did in that relationship.
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post #5 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 04:40 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

When my kids turned 16 I let them know that I had condoms available for them to use if they wanted. They didn't have to ask. We'd had the 'birds and the bees' talk years before so it was more of an 'oh by the way' conversation. I was just under 16 when I started having sex, so that was why I chose that age.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.


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post #6 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 04:52 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

We have had numerous talks with our son and daughter about this. DD is going to be 20 and has not done it yet. Yes, she would tell me. She thinks she is going to end up being the virgin cat women. But she goes to an all girl school so the male population is very tiny and she is not into them. I think I filled her head with too much love nonsense, so she is awaiting that perfect love.

WE think our son recently had sex. Because he took his girl with him to the room and lock the door. He told me what goes on behind his locked door is his personal business. Just like what goes on behind my lock door. I totally agree with him. He is a bit over 18. I just reminded him to use protection for his safety and her's. I am thinking of buying him the book, she comes first. My H had a little private talk with him. I did not question him about it. It was between father and son.

I have no problem talking about sex with the kids. I tell them the truth and tell tall tales about STDs. I H still gets that look on his face when our DD complains about always being a virgin. He just tells her not to rush things. There is lots of time for that yet and then leaves the room. Fun times.
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post #7 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 04:59 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
More than 40 percent of unmarried U.S. teenagers -- or 4.3 million teen males and females -- have had sex at least once, a new U.S. government report shows.

More Than 40% of U.S. Teens Have Had Sex | Family Health | US News


• On average, teens have sex for the first time at age 18 (Finer & Philbin, 2014).

• By age 15, only 16 percent of teens have had vaginal intercourse. By age 19, seven in 10 have had intercourse (Guttmacher Institute, 2014).

• Only 38 percent of 15- to 17-year-old males have engaged in oral sex, and only 33 percent of 15- to 17-year-old females have engaged in oral sex (Copen et al., 2012).

• Teens are as likely to engage in first oral sex before intercourse as they are to engage in first intercourse before oral sex (Copen et al., 2012).


https://www.plannedparenthood.org/fi..._English_1.pdf

I find this fascinating, that kids are having oral sex first. Because when my kids were in middle school and attending a sex ed class, they came home asking if oral sex was sex. And does having butt sex means you are still a virgin. Lord those were some fun convos.

You keep hearing that kids are having sex younger in early teens. I guess it's not really so.
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post #8 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 05:20 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

Ugh I just found out today that my 15 year old niece is not only pregnant, but having twins.

Her mom just thinks it is awesome,my brother who needs and liver and kidney transplant is beside himself he is unhappy but loves his daughter so will stand by her. I worry about her not being fully developed as a woman and have some problems while pregnant or in labor.



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post #9 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-07-2017, 08:56 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

Well, I was 14 and I was not unusual among my peers. So I will assume the same for my kids and begin talking to them about it sooner than that. I've already started talking to my daughter about menstrual cycles and the like and she's 7. I was 10 when I got mine. I just want her to have the information and not be surprised!

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post #10 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 06:59 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

Woman which age start sex normally?


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post #11 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 07:17 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

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Woman which age start sex normally?


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post #12 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-11-2017, 02:14 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

Relevant:

https://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/..._who_are_both/

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post #13 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-11-2017, 02:57 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

I was sexually active at age 16. The sex talk as one simple question from my parents. "Are you using condoms?" Sex talk concluded. My W handled the sex talk with both our daughters. Shoooo...I as off the hook on that one. I suspect our eldest(now 31) has been sexually active to a degree in her late teens. Our youngest at 19 I'd bet my next years paychecks she has not been sexually active beyond kissing.

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post #14 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-11-2017, 03:42 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

I think parents (at least American parents) have made great strides toward educating their kids about sex in a positive way. I do think we tend to fall short in the area still though because we tend to focus too much on the mechanics of it--condoms, std's, babies, etc. That part is important but I think equally important would be teaching our kids about healthy relationships, boundaries and the like.

Maybe when we get our own stuff sorted out we'll be able to pass it on

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #15 of 25 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 12:46 PM
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Re: Teenagers and sex?

W and I were 19

DS 18 has not; other DS 18 probably has had some degree.

Daughters 15 and below - no

Took boys to make them but condoms at age 16 and will do the same with the girls.

Recently heard that those girls who have a good relationship with their mothers start much later.

In my area 18-20 is probably average


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