, the rides would hit mine where it hurts too. It's something he needs from me for sure. I think your natural/logical consequences sound great, I'll look for more opportunities like that. We've had our share of loud complaints about dinners too. I tried a year ago to set up a reward system where the boys had to earn everything extra, like trips to trampoline park, etc. by completing their chores without complaint. It turned into more complaints from teen about how ridiculous it was to have a chart system. My husband agreed and wouldn't really go along with it, so I gave up.
, I will try to be more direct and leave the subjective stuff out. I see where that was my mistake, as @crocus
pointed that out too, that my son really didn't know what that meant.
He also gives me dirty looks repeatedly every time I take a drink at dinner or any other time he's near by. He criticizes me for swallowing too loudly. And my ankles pop in the morning and he repeatedly criticizes me for that- "Do you have a disease? That's really not normal." Over and over. I tried to talk to him about it by explaining that many people have that, are like firecrackers, in my yoga class. I tried finding humor in it, like "Well, it must be nice to move through life perfectly soundless." I finally told him that if he didn't let it go, he'd have a consequence. So now he just gives dirty looks and shakes his head and he might do a grunt. Every day. It is very frustrating.
I feel like I live with an abusive husband, only it's my kid.
, I am going back to staying consistent with the consequences. Thanks for sharing your experience in how that helped with your boys.
, YES to the relaxation techniques. He needs it. He has done EMDR therapy and it did wonders for him. We've done Headspace meditation app and it was great. But he has a very full schedule with school/travel sports so time is very limited in what he can consistently add. And it would be another thing for me to have to work with him on. He has volunteered in the past and it didn't go well because it was me getting him to do it, not by choice. I finally let it go. I'd love to make it a requirement but it would fall squarely on my shoulders and likely lead to more push back at this point.
, very helpful, as that absolutely would send a very clear message to my son because sports are his most favorite thing in the entire world. However, I guarantee my husband would not support me in benching him as it would humiliate him in front of his teammates. And I would need that support because before and after, my son would push back very hard. I'm not afraid of my son, but I would suffer as much if not more than him because it would cause problems with husband and son. It would take massive strength on my part to pull that off, so I guess I need to dig deep? I could go to the coach, who would support me.