My daughter and her boyfriend P have a son who is 2. P was married previously, they had a son, and she brought a son to the marriage. So there are 3 boys ages 2, 6 and 10. The older two live with their mom and her partner through the week and for 1 weekend a month, The other 3 weekends they're with P and my daughter. The oldest does not know his dad, he calls P his dad. We do not see the older two anywhere near as often as our grandson, but when we do we have fun with them.
The 10 year old is having problems and it's been decided he's moving in with my daughter and P. I have reservations about this (which I know perfectly well mean nothing because I have no say in the matter) because of the way he treats his 6 year old brother. Basically, he's a huge bully. He does things on the sly designed solely to be an ass and to get a reaction from his brother. Separate the two and get him by himself and he's ok. My worry is that he'll treat the little guy the same, and I am of course more protective of him because he's my grandson. Which probably isn't right either, but we don't have a real grandparent/grandchild relationship with the two older ones. I don't know if we're even considered 'step' grandparents, because they don't live with my daughter full time. Well, till now anyway, the older one that is.
I'm not afraid of the 10 year old bullying the little guy at our place - if/when we babysit we are perfectly fine disciplining him, and his mom and dad are fine with us disciplining too. It's at home I am worried about. My daughter knows exactly what's going on and so does P, but I know that when they're around us they don't always catch it. Who would with three little boys running around?
It should be better with two boys instead of three, right? Also, P's parents watch our grandson also, and they're a lot older and, frankly, slower than we are. So I worry about what the 10 year old is going to do then
Would you be worried? I am a huge worrier when it comes to the little guy. It drives me nuts, frankly. I also feel somewhat guilty for not feeling the same way about the older two as I do towards our grandson. Maybe guilty isn't the right word exactly though.