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Decision to have children- HELP !!!

6K views 62 replies 9 participants last post by  readyforbaby76 
#1 ·
Hi All
I just joined this forum and am hoping to get lots of feedback from all the parents out there. I'll try to make this as brief as possible.

I have always said that I didn't want children. My life has been a bit unusual growing up. I was raised by a single mom and as a teenager she died. SO then I was on my own. It was my senior year in highschool and I had to declare myself an orphan with the state. Anyway, I think this had a lot to do with why i always said I didn't want children. there were other reasons too.

So, now im 35, have been with my husband for 8 years and married for 4 yrs. We both agreed before marriage that we did not want children, and that if i ever got pregnant by mistake we would of course keep it but that we didn't want them. Well over the past year I have been having serious second thoughts. And now, over the past 3 months I have really decided that I do want to make my own family and have kids.

A few of my other reasons to say No to kids was that I was terrified to have a toddler, seeing so many in stores having tantrums scared me, and then I was also terrified to have a teenager, seeing so many that are horrible to their parents, saying FU, using drugs etc, it scared me.
BUT, i have observed many families and it seems like children are a product of their environment and if you raise them to be respectful then they will be. And not all kids automatically turn out bad just because they hit 13 or so.

Soooo, now im really feeling I want children and want a family with my husband, and I have told him this - he is shocked and says needs time to think about it as its such a HUGE decision and so different than what we planned. He has asked that I stop bringing it up and give him time.....im afraid he'll say no, or say yes for me and then regret it.

So i guess im here because i have NO ONE else to talk to and its times like this that i wish i had a mom to talk to.........
I am still scared of having kids and i want to ask, how hard is it?
is raising an infant really aweful? what about teens, what about toddlers, how do you teach them to be good, respectable people, have you ever regretted having children?
OMG so many questions. I hope you guys dont think im crazy. I just am still scared at this new decision and hubby doesn't want me to talk about it with ANYONE we know (until he decides either way if he wants them or not).

So how has your parenting experience been like? i know a loaded question!! do the positives outweigh the negatives?????

Any feedback would be really great please!!
 
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#2 · (Edited)
Hi. and Welcome.

When we chose to have kids... finally... after already been married for 10 years - similar to you, it was very scary-exciting all at the same time. Both of us never had any aspirations to have kids (and I mean NONE), its just that we got to a point in our lives where everything seemed to fall into place and it seemed that it was time. We had a home, good jobs.. we had lived a little, been married a while. I told her flat out that I wasnt sure our relationship could withstand kids. I was very unsure about the entire prospect. Eventually I warmed up to it, more quicky than I thought.

If you and your husband are in that place..of calmly considering it - congratulations... its really a fantastic time. Without knowing anything about you besides the few sentence you posted - my thoughts would be - forget the fear and doubt. You stated about 3 times that now you want to do it. My wife knew before I did that she was ready. I bet we mulled the idea over for a good year, maybe 2. We had our first when I was 39... she was 37. We had a second one later.

go for it.

Is it hard? sometimes. The first few years are a serious adjustment in life. Actually, forget that - your entire life changes pretty much forever. Everything changes.

But... it is also... without a doubt, THE best thing we ever have done. When I look back on us now... you know... ''BK" (before kids)... the carefree, d.i.n.k.s that we were - we seem like totally different people. How little did I know! We are more a family now, and it is a good thing. I bet it will get much harder as our kids get into the teenage years - not far off now.... is it is for many of my friends and family that I have watched, but from what I have seen... I dont think I have ever known anyone who said 'wish I didnt have kids'. Kids can challenge you.. but in a good way. If the concern and care with which you are considering this is any indication - you will probably be just fine.

Seems to me you know what you want. Throw yourself into it. You will be glad you did. Nothing worthwhile is easy.

You dont know ANYONE with kids you can talk with? Wow... I'd probably bust. My wife certainly would. :)
 
#3 ·
Well, I can say, you're 35 now and a woman's fertility declines at around this time. Give your husband time, but if he says no and you really want them, you're going to have to decide if this is a deal breaker for you and worth divorcing and meeting someone else who wants them. Don't trick him into parenthood if he doesn't want them.

As for children, I have 4 of them and they are at times, very trying on my nerves, but all in all I love them and wouldn't change a thing.

Infants: This is my favorite age for a child, they eat, poop and sleep a lot, but when they get a little older are usually full of giggles and fun. I miss this stage with my children.

Toddlers: They are ALWAYS going to have tantrums and push boundaries, it's what they do and how they learn, tantrums aren't usually about how they are raised, it's just what they do sometimes. You, as the parent, need to teach them what those boundaries are. You have to teach them what is appropriate and what is not, it's not easy, but at this stage in life, they learn a lot from you.

Teens: Another stage in life where they push, experiment, etc. They are getting ready to become young adults, add in hormonal changes and peer pressure, this is another part of growing up. This is the age that is bittersweet I think. Because once your child hits that teenage mark, it won't be much longer until they are an adult. Stick with your boundaries, even when they push them to the brim. Make sure they know you love them no matter what. Even if they say they hate you, odds are, if you're a good parent, they don't really hate you, they just think they know everything. They most likely will come to you in their 20's or 30's, after they marry and have children and say "Gee mom, I know you did your best and you loved me so much, now I know why you did xyz" You're hard work will be acknowledged by them!

Parenthood isn't a box of rainbows and sunshine all the time, but it's worth it, imo. I do believe the positives outweigh the negatives. You will always see your smiling little faces that will always love you. Then they'll be teens and scowl a good majority of the time, but deep down you know they love you and are glad they have you to love and protect them.

Good luck, don't push the hubby, he knows how you feel so give him time to think on it :)
 
#4 ·
Thank you both for the quick responses. Hoping for many more and I am TRYING to not push hubby or not bring this up too much, its just very difficult for me. i want to discuss these things with him, i want to talk infants, and schedules and names, etc.
But he needs "time" and im NOT very patient. Im aweful.

I will try - maybe being able to come here will help me a bit.
Thank you
 
#6 ·
I wouldnt start on the names and schedules and how to raise infants *quite* yet! Lets get the man on board first!

We realised at about.... like I said 38, she was 36.. that it was going to have to be soon.. or not. I do remember feeling a little bit cornered - not necessarily by the wife, but by the situation... in retrospect it was all fear. Fear of the crushing responsibility, fear of the magnitude of the changes it would bring, insecurity about the durability of our relationship... etc. But it all works out in the end.
 
#7 ·
One thing I will add is that Hubby and I have discussed kids a few times since I "broke the news" that I wanted them.
Things we talked about were
1) names (believe it or not) i came home one day and he said, now dont freak out BUT here are some names I came up with and he HAD THEM IN AN EXCEL SPREADSHEET ON HIS LAPTOP!!!!!
2) my age 35, and down sydrome possibility, then getting an amniocentesis
3) will he have to give up certain things, motorcycle, cigar smoking on occasion, man room downstairs.
4) cost, he told me he was at walmart and looked at the formula and it was over $30 for a can, he said how are we going to afford that???
SOOOOOOOO - these are all good signs right? at least he's thinking about it?

BUT, he's tough and WONT be forced into anything - OY
Oh god help me ........ lol Im so glad I found this site.
thank you again so far for listening and responding!!
 
#9 ·
Breastfeeding saved a LOT of money. And it really helps burn calories and makes your boobs look pretty nice (and leaky, but only until your body adjusts to your baby's needs). I nursed 3 of my 4, but supplimented my twins with formula, my daughter didn't have 4 oz of formula her entire babyhood.

But yes, he is thinking about it, so that's a good sign.

I had an amnio when I was preggers with my daughter, and honestly, it wasn't a huge deal, I really couldn't even feel it at all.

My fingers are crossed for you!
 
#8 · (Edited)
Sounds like he has bought into the program, are you kidding me? Names and formula??!! woohooo!

(my wife breastfed - she was ervous about that too but in retrospect would have it NO other way. We used almost no formula... we in fact had trouble getting our first to even take it.)

You gonna drop the "So... we going to do it?" question? You know.. then you have license to for example... stop the pill, etc.

wow. it can happen fast.

My wife was stuck on 'Ainsley' or 'Cody' or 'Reece' for names. Gads, she sucked at picking names. What the heck is an 'Ainsley'?? :D

Once things started rolling and we found out she was preggers... I spent he next 6 months redoing the baby room... it was quite a trip. I thank my lucky stars we 'planned' for it, rather than having to react to a surprise parenthood.
 
#10 ·
I know right?!?! He woulnd't be looking at names if he wasn't considering it right????
He is just very PROUD and needs to decide this "on this own".
He is also the breadwinner so to speaks, makes more than me and I want to be home with the baby, or atleast go down to part time, so this puts a big weight on him.
BUT>>>>> i definitly think he's in or sort of in IF he's looking at names.
I just need to wait i guess for him to give me the green light. I told him the other day that I had been doing some research and to let me know when he wants to talk about it. Its only been 36 hrs and Im friggin dieing over here!! LOL

I still have time though, I was on depoprovera and it doesn't run out til next month, so we technically can't even start trying til then, so why can't i just relax?

Thats funny on the names thing. Ainsley??? is that for a boy or girl?? Did you have your baby yet? how old/
Names we seemed to agree on were
Logan, Mason and Robert (after his deceased dad)
Marlena and Chloe for girls

Ainsley?
 
#13 ·
...Thats funny on the names thing. Ainsley??? is that for a boy or girl?? Did you have your baby yet? how old/
Names we seemed to agree on were
Logan, Mason and Robert (after his deceased dad)
Marlena and Chloe for girls

Ainsley?
My wife had Logan too. Ainsley, it seems is a girls name, Gaelic.

We have 2 now, ages 8 and 6. Girls both. Smart, funny, loving and heart stoppingly beautiful, but Im not an impartial party. ;) I'll private message you a link to our website if you like for pics. Shrug.
 
#12 ·
Doctor told us to wait a couple months before 'trying' after stopping the pill. She had been on it for 15 years at that point.

Wow I cant even remember what we did - it can take a month or 3 to level out your hormones. I think we used condoms for a bit. Its all such a blur now.

Check with your doc. Once we 'got busy' it didnt take long AT ALL, but your mileage will vary.
 
#16 ·
Note EVEN a close contest. Disposables and that magic diaper pail thingy that keeps the stinko down to a minimum. Oh - they went up in price again? I'll take the 50 pack please. Thankyouverymuch.

I think you are in serious danger of getting just a bit ahead of yourself.

Excited much!??!
 
#18 ·
YES im excited, and i have NO ONE to talk to. Hubby doesn't want me talking to any of our friends about this, because our big personal decision and we need to make it with eachother first. SOO i can't talk to anyone, and if i bring it up to him again he may kill me, so here i am, researching all kids of crapola all day long and no one to vomit all my information too! so yes im way ahead of myself, im prepping. LMAO!!!!
really glad i found this site so i can at least talk to some one about this. :lol:
 
#19 ·
UPDATE:

well good news!!!, yesterday morning i asked hubby if we could pick a day in the next few weeks to talk about baby stuff, his response was that i need to give him a few days without mentioning anything and thats its bothering him that I keep bringing it up.
Sooooo i said ok. we then left the house to go do errands, after errands we stopped at chili's to get lunch. While at lunch he asked what it was about "having a baby" did i want to talk about - so we started talking:smthumbup:
i told him what ive read about amniocentesis and some other things.
he then mentioned that he was surprised i have not done a cost analysis yet for what it would cost us to have a newborn, my husband is very type A and he does TONS of research and prepares for everything. he then told me that he has been doing his own research and found several baby checklists on line and has made spreadsheets with costs associated with everything. :smthumbup:again yay! that he's even done this! so he came up with like $10,000 for start up costs, crib, basinet, carseat, stroller, etcetc etc but $10,000?? :rofl:
so i told him i think he was pricing too high but that im glad he did it.
Then when we got home, i created my own sheet from lists on the bump.com and other baby sites and priced out stuff. THEN he and i went through my sheet and his and priced everything together and went through all the items!! IT WAS AWESOME!
so we talked through car seats, and crib, and what kind of baby bjorn i would want, etc., etc, im talking everything, he even looked at diaper bags and said he would want one a little more neutral so it wasn't a chick bag, in case he was going out with the baby.:)
IM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY I COULD CRY! it just means that i really really think he is going to get there. yay yay yay!

pretty cool huh?
 
#20 · (Edited)
I am still scared of having kids and i want to ask, how hard is it?
is raising an infant really aweful? what about teens, what about toddlers, how do you teach them to be good, respectable people, have you ever regretted having children?
OMG so many questions. I hope you guys dont think im crazy. I just am still scared at this new decision and hubby doesn't want me to talk about it with ANYONE we know (until he decides either way if he wants them or not).

So how has your parenting experience been like? i know a loaded question!! do the positives outweigh the negatives?????

Any feedback would be really great please!!
These are not stupid questions. 1st of all, regardless of what you have grown up with and experienced, it is MOST important that :

1. You have a happy marraige - a happy MOm & dad makes for a happy family

2. you & husband are ON THE SAME PAGE before you have kids

3. Agreeing on HOW to discpline will be a blessing as the years progress - mom & dad again needs to be on the same page, or kids will take advantage of this.

4. Deciding who will watch kids (childcare) if you both continue working. Sometimes it is counterproductive if the wife does not earn alot.

5. Good Health insurance sure helps.


Me & my husband had 6 (ages toddler to college age), I consider having my children to be one of the greatest things I have ever done.... after marrying their dad. The good FAR outweighs the bad...(he would agree)

They bring so much JOY to our lives, I can not imagine how boring it would be without them in our house. Even with all of my kids, I think I will be sad when "the empty nest " syndrome finally comes. ON top of this, we allow them endless friends in & out of our house , spending nights (last night I had 4 extra 14 yr olds here, cooked about 50 pancakes this morning )

OUr house is always full, lively and can be loud at times ...but somehow I love this and can handle it very well, I never get headaches , I can be a little rough with them at times , I have the "tough love " approach to parenting, 5 of them are boys, this seems to work very very well...for our family.

Our kids are very well behaved... I think the secret to this is .... always be very "approachable" with them, open communication in all things- nothing should be off limits....We should not expect perfection from our kids, but HONESTY at every turn. And let them suffer consequences when they willingly disobey, do not bail them out of things. Our children come to us about everything & everything. Too many teens do not feel this way about their parents, I hear it from my kids friends even .

Some parents are overly strict to the point of the kids hiding , resorting to lying to have a little fun, and others are too lenient, no boundaries at all.....BOTH extremes are BAD for parenting.

The home MUST be a comforting place to fall, no matter what they face in school, sometimes kids get bullied , they want what other friends have, peer pressure compels them to go with a bad crowd, we need to instill within them, with our own example of living, that is not the answer... be who they are, stand up for what they believe.



And it doesn't so much matter what WE were raised with --it is more about a vision for our own future...

.... I did NOT have such a happy upbringing, my Mother left me at about age 10 & I was raised by a nasty step mother who was not a good example in my teens. I never even held a baby until I had my 1st, I knew very little about kids-I didn't even have siblings to fight with. When you have that nurse put that baby in your arms, I know for me, it was all instinct --plus I learned everything from reading . I knew more than most moms who were experienced.

My mentors & inspiration was feeling a part of my best friends larger family growing up & many stories of my Grandmother . We all need some good examples !

I personally enjoyed the Baby years and the teen years the most.... Toddler and elementary years, I find I have less patience with them. My husband helps them with their homework. Babies, in my opionion are a breeze, I was a parent who insisted on them all using binkys -- quieted mine down all the time. I took advantage of baby swings, babies love the motion, but I never had any with colic, I don't feel that would be easy at all, it helps learning how to be a good multitasker, so you can get everything else down at home & keep up with baby so when dad hits the door, you are on top of things.


And ....Don't forget DAD!! as this is the #1 problem New Mom's make.... Also be aware, if you choose to Breast feed....it is going to mess with your sex drive !! Dad will not like this at all. I never breast fed any of mine, they were all healthy & sound. Will breastfeeding interfere with my sex drive? | BabyCenter


my husband is very type A and he does TONS of research and prepares for everything. he then told me that he has been doing his own research and found several baby checklists on line and has made spreadsheets with costs associated with everything. again yay! that he's even done this! so he came up with like $10,000 for start up costs, crib, basinet, carseat, stroller, etcetc etc but $10,000??
so i told him i think he was pricing too high but that im glad he did it.
I am probably Type A myself, nothing wrong with that, I research everything near to death, I didn't even allow my kids to get the oral polio back when it was common because of my detailed research, I specifically asked their pedetrician for the "injectable Polio" (I knew the risks were lower) before they made it the "norm" in all vaccinations. I WANT to be up on everything, I do not like surprises , because I was ignornat on some fact that could have saved us. . He sounds like he will make a fine Dad in this respect.

I had to laugh at the cost though, because 1st of all, I don't feel there is anything wrong with buying used baby everything, If I calculated my costs for 6 kids and all of this stuff it would be well below his figure of $10,000 . Garage sales, friends, Consignment shops , Ebay, plenty of fine deals to be had. Baby stuff is the easier things to find in the best condition!

Congratulations on your hubby coming around !!

 
#21 ·
These are not stupid questions. 1st of all, regardless of what you have grown up with and experienced, it is MOST important that :

1. You have a happy marraige - a happy MOm & dad makes for a happy family

2. you & husband are ON THE SAME PAGE before you have kids

3. Agreeing on HOW to discpline will be a blessing as the years progress - mom & dad again needs to be on the same page, or kids will take advantage of this.

4. Deciding who will watch kids (childcare) if you both continue working. Sometimes it is counterproductive if the wife does not earn alot.

5. Good Health insurance sure helps.


Me & my husband had 6 (ages toddler to college age), I consider having my children to be one of the greatest things I have ever done.... after marrying their dad. The good FAR outweighs the bad...(he would agree)

They bring so much JOY to our lives, I can not imagine how boring it would be without them in our house. Even with all of my kids, I think I will be sad when "the empty nest " syndrome finally comes. ON top of this, we allow them endless friends in & out of our house , spending nights (last night I had 4 extra 14 yr olds here, cooked about 50 pancakes this morning )

OUr house is always full, lively and can be loud at times ...but somehow I love this and can handle it very well, I never get headaches , I can be a little rough with them at times , I have the "tough love " approach to parenting, 5 of them are boys, this seems to work very very well...for our family.

Our kids are very well behaved... I think the secret to this is .... always be very "approachable" with them, open communication in all things- nothing should be off limits....We should not expect perfection from our kids, but HONESTY at every turn. And let them suffer consequences when they willingly disobey, do not bail them out of things. Our children come to us about everything & everything. Too many teens do not feel this way about their parents, I hear it from my kids friends even .

Some parents are overly strict to the point of the kids hiding , resorting to lying to have a little fun, and others are too lenient, no boundaries at all.....BOTH extremes are BAD for parenting.

The home MUST be a comforting place to fall, no matter what they face in school, sometimes kids get bullied , they want what other friends have, peer pressure compels them to go with a bad crowd, we need to instill within them, with our own example of living, that is not the answer... be who they are, stand up for what they believe.



And it doesn't so much matter what WE were raised with --it is more about a vision for our own future...

.... I did NOT have such a happy upbringing, my Mother left me at about age 10 & I was raised by a nasty step mother who was not a good example in my teens. I never even held a baby until I had my 1st, I knew very little about kids-I didn't even have siblings to fight with. When you have that nurse put that baby in your arms, I know for me, it was all instinct --plus I learned everything from reading . I knew more than most moms who were experienced.

My mentors & inspiration was feeling a part of my best friends larger family growing up & many stories of my Grandmother . We all need some good examples !

I personally enjoyed the Baby years and the teen years the most.... Toddler and elementary years, I find I have less patience with them. My husband helps them with their homework. Babies, in my opionion are a breeze, I was a parent who insisted on them all using binkys -- quieted mine down all the time. I took advantage of baby swings, babies love the motion, but I never had any with colic, I don't feel that would be easy at all, it helps learning how to be a good multitasker, so you can get everything else down at home & keep up with baby so when dad hits the door, you are on top of things.


And ....Don't forget DAD!! as this is the #1 problem New Mom's make.... Also be aware, if you choose to Breast feed....it is going to mess with your sex drive !! Dad will not like this at all. I never breast fed any of mine, they were all healthy & sound. Will breastfeeding interfere with my sex drive? | BabyCenter




I am probably Type A myself, nothing wrong with that, I research everything near to death, I didn't even allow my kids to get the oral polio back when it was common because of my detailed research, I specifically asked their pedetrician for the "injectable Polio" (I knew the risks were lower) before they made it the "norm" in all vaccinations. I WANT to be up on everything, I do not like surprises , because I was ignornat on some fact that could have saved us. . He sounds like he will make a fine Dad in this respect.

I had to laugh at the cost though, because 1st of all, I don't feel there is anything wrong with buying used baby everything, If I calculated my costs for 6 kids and all of this stuff it would be well below his figure of $10,000 . Garage sales, friends, Consignment shops , Ebay, plenty of fine deals to be had. Baby stuff is the easier things to find in the best condition!

Congratulations on your hubby coming around !!

quick question, how did you afford formula? we are thinking breastfeeding to save on costs, i just searched formula incase we can't breastfeed and it looks like $12/day. OMG is that right? :confused:
 
#28 ·
LOL, yes ma'am. Everyone I know who's had twins have been in their mid 30's. They do present a whole other set of challenges... BUT if you want two children, you're done... You only have to endure pregnancy once. I'd Google search it and just see what you can find out on your age and pregnancy. Besides 30 is the new 20!!
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#33 ·
So, you guys are saying we might not need to get the amnio, and that the other test, 3rd screening or something is just as sufficient?
Once we do conceive, I know i'll be terrified of miscarriage, it seems to be so common, at least lately, i know about 5 women that have misccaried :(
 
#34 ·
I'd read up on options. I'm Canadian and they offer a blood test called Triple Screen. I was all gung ho for an amnio when my doctor asked if I would abort if DS found. Personal choice but I said no (you don't have to answer - not any of our business), but just research other procedures and see if there are others - less invasive that meet your needs.
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#37 ·
Another thing to add or question for you all is...........A concern for both hubby and I when it comes to having children, is will it effect our marriage negatively?

Are there any suggestions you can give me as the mom/wife so this doesn't happen. My relationship with hubby is very important to me and I dont want to end up hurting our marriage by bringing a child into it.
 
#40 ·
Ok, so hoping for you all to respond..........hubby just sent me an email asking for some time to think. very very nice email - here is a piece

"Listen, I'm not mad...truly. I just feel pressured and it's getting in the way of me considering this. You're SO set on this and I just am not there yet, I haven't even been given the chance to get there. It's just DONE in your eyes which is not fair and I need you to relax.

Can't we just enjoy each other for a little while, while I think about this? I don't think it's a lot to ask and need to process this fairly so please figure out a way to do it, if you can. If not, then I'm just being up front with the challenges it's presenting on me considering this whole thing.

Listen, I love you and want to be honest with you as I know this is important to you and it is to me too."

Sooo, of course i responded to him and thanked him for being so good, to date. and then said i would give him time and that he was right and I need to relax..........

NOW for you all to answer please I know im aweful to ask, but HOW MUCH TIME DO I NEED TO GIVE HIM BEFORE I CAN BRING THIS UP AGAIN? A week, two weeks, its going to be hard to not make any comments baby related, a month??? what do you think?
each day is going to be tough for me. especially seeing i can't talk to anyone else.
Ok tell me what you think?! thanks in advance.
 
#41 · (Edited)
OK. To me, the time frame is not 'days' here. The time frame is weeks or months.

When is your anniversary? Thats when we usually brought it up together.. usually when we were having a good meal at some restaurant with a bottle of wine - talking about the past year(s) and generally us. Seemed to be an easy time to bring it up.. and choices about life in general. I'll have to ask my wife if it was me of her that brought it up the last time. I sortof think it was me, knowing it was on her mind - but Im not sure. Im going to check, actually - I have no doubt she knows - she has a photographic memory for that sort of thing.

Based on your postings here - I would say you are totally consumed with it. :) Not a bad thing, but yeah - I would make a considerable effort to lay off for a little bit. Its not like he doesnt know where you stand ("...Its just DONE in your eyes...") - and I think you really really (really) want him to feel like it was his 'choice' too...eventually. Hopefully.

In the end - like I said before... he may never be fully 'ready' ever - especially if he is the type to make spreadsheets of babys names even before he has bought into the program... its such a big unknown for that type of personality. So many uncontrollable variables right? How will it affect the relationship between you 2? ("...cant we just enjoy each other...") Cost? An infant, really? - do I need that kind of responsibility? Total loss of independance? Ahhhh there is the rub.

What may eventually outweigh the uncertainly.. as it did for me... was the acceptance that we were going to have a baby someday. That we were moving into a new phase of our lives - much as I was happy with the current 'phase'. I was never going to be able to say 'no' to my wife on such a thing and that if its going to happen - its going to, ought to happen soon unless I wanted to be in a walker when our kids got out of highschool. When I started thinking about it that way - it seemd to make more sense, though I was nervous.

Now you know, and can probably appreciate what the phrase 'her clock is ticking' actually means? ;) Dont worry, you still have some time to ease into it.
 
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