The Family & Parenting ForumsFamily dynamics can be exactly that - dynamic! Post here about family related issues such as parenting, blended families, step-families, new relationships with children involved, family of origin issues, in-laws or sibling issues.
When my oldest went off to College, It caught me by surprise one night, I wrote him a long letter, I cried, I realize that part of my parenting is over ...for him.... he was such a pleasant child to raise, always happy, joyful, good friends, he turned out so well, I was so proud of him. It all went too fast.
I am so very thankful I have 5 left still at home, I so enjoy having children in my house, the more the merrier. I never turn them down when they want friends over, had 2 extra last night. I do not look forward to the empty nest at all - I am very happy it won't be for another 14 yrs anyway (when my smallest will be 18)... who knows, but I bet my husband will have to hold me up even then...
It is not so much that they are leaving..... but it signifies a part of our life that we enjoyed so very much, happy family outings, the memories, laughter in our house- all hours of the night ... it just won't be the same, it will be different after that.
That is what I will mourn.... but the fact we have given our children a good upbringing, and wings to fly on thier own , so they WON'T need us, this is something to celebrate.
Hearing from another Mom who felt it would be difficult but somehow it wasn't -- saying Yeeehaw! That is pretty encouraging, maybe even I will not handle it so bad. Still glad I have many years left though.
They come back, no matter how deep in the woods or high in the city, they find you and come back. It doesn't matter what kind of terms they leave, they always come back with the best of terms.
LOL, LOL, LOL
No matter how much gas money we give them they always have enough to come back. Thats just how loves works ..they always come back and we except them!
It totaly sucks when we have to turn our middevil duguon/inquestion play room back to our sons bedroom, but he'll be on his way soon enough.
Yep, it's very liberating. I love my kids but I'm glad that they do not consume all of my free time now.
People react differently to the empty nest. Shoot look at how birds react.. they push the little suckers out of the nest if they won't go on their own.
My take on it is that God makes babies so cute/adorable so that we will love and take care of them despite that fact that they are needy/demanding creatures. And He makes teens so obnoxious so that we will kick them out the door and let them have a live of their own.
That's hilarious I think you are right, He is wise
So envious - two daughters 22 and 28 and still living under their parents roof
And it's a small house with only one bath...
Oh, if only I had sons... Just doesn't feel 'right' tossing daughters out onto the street....
Thankfully they both 'contribute' - each in their own way.. and are good people - actually we get along better now that the 'parent/child' relationship is finished and they are just 'roommates' and 'friends' - too bad they cannot be 'friends' with each other
But we are very eager to have them declare their independance and leave the nest.
Around the dinner table this past Xmas, I made it 'clear' to them that next year I wanted to share Xmas dinner with them when they VISITED us - we'll see.....
Im so sorry for your loss. I think we need to move forward even if it's hard. Maybe a counselor can help. I've found this for you. It's a program called ViaSeminars.com and it's a mix of travel and counseling addressed specifically to empty nesters. Maybe you should give them a look... you would be really helpful.
I hope things work out for you.
My eldest is looking at moving out in the summer of next year as the degree course she wants to take is not available locally so that could be the start of it.
As we have 5 kids (g17, g16, b13, b8, b2) it will be a long drawn at process. Especially as our middle child has “Downs Syndrome” so it is not yet clear if he will be able to live independently but “touch wood” he is progressing well up to this point (working at about two grades behind in a main stream school).
I was 45 when our youngest was born that will put me at 63 before he is even old enough to start university so whatever happens it is still a long way to go.