Making my son a sissy? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-27-2009, 11:30 PM Thread Starter
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Making my son a sissy?

I have 4 children, my oldest and my only son is 11. There is a 5 1/2 year age difference between him and my oldest daughter. I stayed home with my son until he was in kindergarten. I am the one who did 99% of everything with and for him (minus the billpaying part my hubby worked). I did not have a normal childhood with parents who actually gave a crap about me so I spent every chance I could letting my son know how important he is to me. I have taught him not to be mean and how to have a soft side and to treat others the way he wants to be treated. Now that he is older I have found he wears his emotions on his sleeve alot and my hubby said Ihave made him into a sissy. I don't see how, my son is tough, he just gets his heart broken easily. Did I screw my son up?

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-28-2009, 03:43 AM
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Re: Making my son a sissy?

i just see a mother that did her best for her child.
my eldest is 11 and he sounds similar. quite an emotional boy at times. i taught him values and like you treat others how you want to be treated.
but i treat my other son exactly the same and hes got ISSUES, temper tantrums , screams etc.
i think the worst you can do is call him a sissy, he isnt , its just how he deals with things, more emotional and thats ok.
you should be grateful he has feelings like that, he shows he gets hurt and wouldnt you rather know where you stand, other than a child that might not feel they can express how they feel and stay an introvert. where things left to build up can do a phenominal amount of damage to a child if he/she feels they couldnt turn to their own parents.
we are here to protect them. look at the children who dont have parents and love and stablity.
you didnt screw up your son. your screwed up yourselves for thinking hes a sissy. when he has his own personality and character.
no different to the rest of the millions of ppl out there having different characters and personalities.
be grateful for the efforts you put into making him the polite boy he is.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-28-2009, 09:17 AM
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Re: Making my son a sissy?

so you are saying your son at 11 years old, is a sissy? becuase he wears his emotions on his sleeve?

your kidding right?

you should be glad he can share his emotions, what did he cry over that has launched this "sissy" statement?

A fight? a bully?

my 9 year old son, he is not the biggest kid in the class, he is the class clown, but he is no fighter.

I imagine he is afraid of making you upset. I know my oldest son had "bully" issues at school when he was 7, and he did not know how to handle it. I told him, "look if a kid hits you at school, deck him." he said, "you won't get mad at me?" I said, "not if you are defending yourself from a bully, now you don't go starting any fights, but don't take anyone's crap either. I want you to be a good kid, a good kid does what is right and if defending yourself is the right thing to do, well then defend yoursel!"

a few days later he told me, he and the boy got into it, but once he say that my son was not afraid to stand up to him, he backed off. My son's confidence has grown as well. I showed him how to defend himself and throw a good punch.

he has never used it in school only against his little brother when those two get in a argument and I usually have to break it up (little brother is 6 but almost the same height and weight)

Now we have a standing rule of no fighting in our house, but boys are boys and they will fight, you just have to break it up.

does you son play any sports has he ever had to be aggressive? Any brothers to fight with or just sisters?

I doubt he is a sissy, he is just 11 years old.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-30-2009, 12:48 PM
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Re: Making my son a sissy?

No I do not think you made him a sissy....I think it's important for males to learn to express their emotions because so often they bottle them up because they don't want to appear "weak" and end up letting those emotions come out in ways that they shouldn't (drinking, abuse, etc) I think what you're doing, in the long run, will be good for your son.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 01-30-2009, 01:32 PM
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Re: Making my son a sissy?

Awwwww, you know what? Children have their own foundation. You definately have an enfluence on their personality, but mainly it sounds like you have just enabled him to blossom how he was meant to. Now if you would have said your husband calls him a sissy all the time, then you would have a bigger problem. Some kids are just born sweet, mild natured, and sensitive. Trust me my son was suspended the first week of kindergarten for wrestling around. He is 17 yrs old and the teachers still call. Trust me your husband should feel lucky he has such a sweet, well behaved child, lol. My little brother sounds alot like your son, he is now in the ministry and still as sweet, and gentle and giving as he was at 10 yrs old. He has a wife of 15 yrs and 4 kids. Your son will be just fine : ) You might have to talk about things that bother him more often, but that is a lot better than your kids not telling you when something has upset them. Please, make sure your husband never lets your son know he thinks he's a sissy.....Men....sometimes they are real idiots.....
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