02-02-2012, 05:23 PM
Join Date: Dec 2011
| | Re: Dad has no time for kids
Cogo, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I've been there myself.
My husband was not involved with our kids one bit. They're grown now, but they've all went to him to discuss his emotional detachment towards them. He apologized, but it never changed.
I wish I would have left years ago, when I was healthier. I'm so worried about the emotional damage that was done to the kids, and what they will have to go through to overcome it.
If you need to offer an ultimatum, it's worth it. Either way it will benefit you and your children. Your husband will either step up or will not. If not, you can leave and start your life anew.
Either way, it will be better for you and your children.
My youngest is now 22, and knows his father will never really be a father, which makes my heart so heavy. I have apologized to all the children for their father's behavior and I let them know that his emotional distance, has nothing to do with them and everything to do with him. They know this to be true intellectually but emotionally, that's a different matter
I thought I could be both mother and father to the kids and somehow spare them, but it just doesn't work like that. All I could was try to lessen their hurt.
How I wish I would have handled things differently and saw everything for how it really was as opposed to what I wished it was.
I wish you and your children luck.