The Family & Parenting ForumsFamily dynamics can be exactly that - dynamic! Post here about family related issues such as parenting, blended families, step-families, new relationships with children involved, family of origin issues, in-laws or sibling issues.
"those single men that said they would were what' I would consider to be of lower stock value (less financially secure, uglier etc.) than the ones that said they would not. "
OP. Your single men friends should be asked to explain why it is that the ugly, financially insecure women got laid by men, which is, presumably, how they became pregnant. I think they have some kind of logic gap going on. Usually women with kids are attractive enough to have gained sexual attention, and generally speaking have more tax deductions and child support than their counterparts. Before kids, chances are they were financially secure, because really, finances are what makes a woman attractive? Or 1/2 of the equation proposed by your friends, the other being not ugly. I suppose that it's possible that the procreation took place in the dark, where bank accounts were not checked prior...but then that makes the dads equally as unattractive and unfit as partners as the women who become mothers, due to bad selection techniques and lack of understanding of consequences of short-term choices.
Ask your friends to explain why only poor and ugly women get knocked up, by guys who were single and chose them for partners, and please get back to us on their remarks to this question.
I think the OP's point was that it was the guys who said they would date single mothers that were poorer and uglier than guys that wouldn't.
To that I say, with an opinion like that, it's a good thing HE doesn't have to date those guys!
I have reported the first post in this thread. It is highly offensive.
I dated a man with a child once. When we broke up, it was hard to leave his son behind. I also need to be first in a relationship and when a man has kids, the girlfriend or stepmom is never the first priority. There were too many cancelled dates.
If I found myself single again, I would stay away from fathers. This is not because of any ludicrous beliefs like "they are used up and ugly." It is purely because I am childfree and I don't want to become a de facto mother figure, nor do I want to deal with snotty kids who are still bruised from a divorce.
I met a handsome and kindhearted older gentleman who wanted to date me. His kids thought I was too young for him, so he listened to them. Yeah, it makes sense to let the kids decide who Daddy dates or falls in love with.
So I'm curious what the forums take on the issue is...
I married a woman with kids, I won`t do it again.
I`d try my damnedest to avoid single mothers if I were back on the market but I imagine looking for women in my age (40) range they`re either going to be moms or going to want to be soon and I`m not having any more kids either soo....
I`ll just have to have a series of meaningless sexual relationships with as many 20somethings as I can muster.
Are there any guys in here without kids such as myself that have an opinion?.. I seem to be getting jaded opinions, from women with kids who justify their lifes choices and personal value by holding an alternative point of view- IMHO - I may be wrong.
Let me clarify my position.
I`m married with kid therefore would have kid if divorced.
I married a woman with two kids so I have a valid perspective on this topic.
Even with myself being a father, I would consider a single mom to immediately have a strike against her for dating material.
Would I absolutely write them off as the OP does?
No because I know I often can`t help who I`m attracted to and there are a lot of considerations.
-What`s custody like with her kids ?
-How old are said kids?
-What are the kids personalities?
However, I would indeed attempt to avoid single moms if at all possible.
Been down that road already, got the T-Shirt.
Wow, I am glad my hubby didn't have your opinion 15 years ago. I was a single mom with 3 little kids.
What is your reasoning?? Why is a woman with kids inferior, and why is a guy who dates her inferior??? Way to pass judgement.
Nice to know you think I'm a lesser being. Good grief.
Its not right to judge them as "inferior" but it has to primarily do with the fact that they are seen as a burden and that they have shown "bad judgement"
Shows or some guys think it shows the woman is damaged and is more likely to be a "Mess" this is not how i think by the way a lot of single mom's were nothing but loyal and got cheated on or abused. However some guys still view those women as "lower" because they were in a marriage that failed and even if they were loving and loyal they had poor judgement in choosing an unfit male and thus are now alone.
Not fair but that is how it is seen. Seen that "she has failed or messed up and exhibited bad judgement"
Some guy's also want the woman to have had no kids and him and her possibly make the first kids she has ever had.
What burden? I supported my child on my teaching salary. No burden.
And bad judgement? Who the hell are you to judge what happened in any relationship?
I'm so glad my husband is amazing Men out there seem a little 'off'...
ETA: I was single with a daughter for 7 years. Her father and I had no drama...we co-parented...I didn't depend on him for anything except keeping our parenting schedule. It was quite awesome. I was a part-time mom. May not be the way to do things for everyone, but it was great for me...I was young so I had a life outside of motherhood which allowed me to date and meet people. NO ONE met my child. No one. I supported myself and wasn't looking for a daddy for my kid...or someone to pay my bills. I was fine on my own. I was just looking for the love of my life <3 and I found him.
"those single men that said they would were what' I would consider to be of lower stock value (less financially secure, uglier etc.) than the ones that said they would not. "
OP. Your single men friends should be asked to explain why it is that the ugly, financially insecure women got laid by men, which is, presumably, how they became pregnant. I think they have some kind of logic gap going on. Usually women with kids are attractive enough to have gained sexual attention, and generally speaking have more tax deductions and child support than their counterparts. Before kids, chances are they were financially secure, because really, finances are what makes a woman attractive? Or 1/2 of the equation proposed by your friends, the other being not ugly. I suppose that it's possible that the procreation took place in the dark, where bank accounts were not checked prior...but then that makes the dads equally as unattractive and unfit as partners as the women who become mothers, due to bad selection techniques and lack of understanding of consequences of short-term choices.
Ask your friends to explain why only poor and ugly women get knocked up, by guys who were single and chose them for partners, and please get back to us on their remarks to this question.
Most people are not attractive and having kids does not make a woman attractive i am not sure what percentage of the world you consider attractive but i do not consider most people attractive. Id say like 95% of people are unattractive and or below or at "average" most women are not attractive in regards to the overall population and most men are not either. A woman having kids does not mean she is attractive it just means she opened her legs or was raped or something. Statistically lower income women and people who are less financially secure become single parents and have children out of wedlock. Also odd considering college educated women who are slim and in shape often are attractive and these women are less likely to become single mothers. College educated women tend to go for college educated men for example and those men would be higher in status than men who did not have set backgrounds. Anyhow people within the same social class tend to date and marry the most. In addition people who are college educated graduates past the age of 26 who marry are least likely to divorce compared to other groups.
Women who get pregnant and left are not often more attractive than the woman who has less kids. Women in higher educated more westernized countries tend to have less kids (which is not always a good thing) but they tend to be in better control of their lives from what it seems. Education plays a huge role in it and women who get pregnant and left often are on the lower scale of things. In addition might not compare to the woman who is very smart out of a rich area of some town who more than likely might be more feminine do to money and who knows perhaps better genes. Is it any wonder rich men marry attractive beautiful women also?
Women who get pregnant and left are not often more attractive than the woman who has less kids. Women in higher educated more westernized countries tend to have less kids (which is not always a good thing) but they tend to be in better control of their lives from what it seems. Education plays a huge role in it and women who get pregnant and left often are on the lower scale of things. In addition might not compare to the woman who is very smart out of a rich area of some town who more than likely might be more feminine do to money and who knows perhaps better genes. Is it any wonder rich men marry attractive beautiful women also?
I was educated, had a career, had a relationship, got pregnant and left him because...well, that's my business.
But you say "women" like you know we are all the same.
So, because I got pregnant, and was single, i am not attractive or beautiful? LOL I came from a rich town
You make no sense.
So, who do you date? Or do you just troll marriage sites...
Its not right to judge them as "inferior" but it has to primarily do with the fact that they are seen as a burden and that they have shown "bad judgement"
Shows or some guys think it shows the woman is damaged and is more likely to be a "Mess" this is not how i think by the way a lot of single mom's were nothing but loyal and got cheated on or abused. However some guys still view those women as "lower" because they were in a marriage that failed and even if they were loving and loyal they had poor judgement in choosing an unfit male and thus are now alone.
Not fair but that is how it is seen. Seen that "she has failed or messed up and exhibited bad judgement"
Some guy's also want the woman to have had no kids and him and her possibly make the first kids she has ever had.
Yep, and the OP is getting divorced. To many women he will be of much lower value and not worth their time. This is especially true of women with no children... because there is a reason his marriage failed. Many will not want to find out what he contributed to the failure.
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Re: Dating a Woman With Kids 
Yeah, it makes sense to let the kids decide who Daddy dates or falls in love with.
Sexy and smart and successful....rawr. 
