[psychocandy]

Wife's father died 10 years ago but MIL has never ever made an effort to get over things, get her own life or anything. Shes just relied totally on her kids to entertain her/ take her out etc. Never bothered with her friends or anything. No interests or hobbies.

Shes had a part-time job which luckily has kept her occupied at least but soon shes giving this up due to age.

Trouble is at the moment shes constantly moaning to my wife about what shes going to do with her time etc. I can see whats coming.

My MIL is very manipulative indeed. Shes good for babysitting but sometimes I fear shes got motives. For instance, she comes up to babysit for one night, then stays for 5 days. Getting scared to ask her.

Shes OK I suppose but doesnt seem to have any boundaries. She seems to think her daughter (my wife) is just thrilled to have her around as much as possible (shes not!). And it doesnt seem to bother her that playing the guilt trip is just plain unfair!

We're expecting another child soon and wife now wants to tell her mother because she thinks she needs something to focus on because shes depressed. And wife is thinking , MIL gives up work, excellent childminder but I can see that going wrong. And I can see where that'll lead. One days childcare will turn into 5 days stay each time will turn into might as well stay here....

Trouble is wife wont say no to her mother. In the past, we've said no way is MIL coming on hols to Florida with us. What happened? One year she just came out and said - I think I'll come with you. No waiting to be asked! And of course she came and it was a disaster.

Occasionally, she tries to make a joke about moving in with us and I just joke back and say when hell freezes over! Wife has admitted that she has said in the past though that she might sell her house and move in with us. (again without asking us or waiting for be offered!)

Now I might sound mean and if she was ill and needed a carer then it would be different.

BTW-shes got 3 other kids too, but they tend to be a bit cleverer and keep their heads down a bit knowing my wife will give in.

[venuslove]

Man, that does sound alittle mean. Has she ever done anything to you? How old is she? Maybe you should try fixing her up with someone? Talk to your wife in anice way about it. Come to a solution that does not involve your MIL moving in and then you will have a joint decision to back up any attempts of your MIL moving in. Good luck