[Cherry]

My 18 year old has 3 choices..

Continue to work at her current fast food place, about 30 hours a week or find another job, but either way continue to live with her gma and have it made financially, just not 100% freedom... In part because its a good hour away from her boyfriend..

She could sit for our twins full time and have her evenings and weekends free and closer to her boyfriend.

Or she can do it on her own.

If you read my previous thread, the doing it on her own consists of finding another job eventually but moving in with her bf immediately.

So we gave her a tank of gas in a truck that my mother got her this month for her bday, and told her to make her choice... She has to find a way to pay for her next tank of gas. Was that too harsh?

She has to be at college in August in order to continue certain things like health and auto through us, and she knows that and she says she plans on that.

I think she's mad at me because I told her gma about her plan to move in with this boy... So now I'm sure there are some stricter rules for remaining in her gmas house, but she's gotta pretty cush there.. Or she can move here with us. She doesn't have to babysit, she can just get another job. But we will not finance her playing house with this boy. He boasts a great job, he can support her!

And to think I have two more 18 year olds in the making...one of each sex this time.

[SunnyT]

Good job Mom! I think you did great. She has plenty of simple, doable choices....which is comforting from a parental level. You did good!

[Thor]

Sounds like you're on the right track. Any support past 18 and high school graduation is, in my book, a gift which is not required.

My parents paid for college and helped with some car expenses. I worked part time to put gas in the car and pay for my social life. Yeah I had it pretty easy. At college graduation I was 21 and on my own. Finally! I was pleased to not be under their rules, and pleased to be self-sufficient. It was nice to have had their $ but it was tough to be under their rules.

If you make it too easy, adult children will never move out.