1 year old stinker

uzername · 05-05-2012, 09:59 AM

i'm a new mom and i stay at home with my 1 year old. lately he's been rejecting me in favor of his dad, who works long days so he rarely gets to spend time with him. and by rejecting, i mean he screams bloody murder until his dad holds him and then he is instantly all smiles. it's normal, i know, but it's driving me batty!!! he has always been such a happy baby so this somewhat sudden turn has thrown me. plus, i think my DH silently wonders what i'm doing "wrong" to make the baby not want me anymore. he'd never say that out loud, but i feel like that's what i see on his face sometimes. will this rejection continue for long??

Gaia · 05-05-2012, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uzername

i'm a new mom and i stay at home with my 1 year old. lately he's been rejecting me in favor of his dad, who works long days so he rarely gets to spend time with him. and by rejecting, i mean he screams bloody murder until his dad holds him and then he is instantly all smiles. it's normal, i know, but it's driving me batty!!! he has always been such a happy baby so this somewhat sudden turn has thrown me. plus, i think my DH silently wonders what i'm doing "wrong" to make the baby not want me anymore. he'd never say that out loud, but i feel like that's what i see on his face sometimes. will this rejection continue for long??

Relax... it's nothing your doing.. the boy just misses his daddy is all. The length just depends on the childs mood .. they tend to flip flop between who they prefer. My son and daughter are the same way and like I said it's not because your doing anything wrong.. it's just because they may miss spending quality time with the other parent. Him wanting to cling to his daddy is normal... let them both enjoy(especially your hubby) while it lasts.

Catherine602 · 05-05-2012, 10:50 AM

Have you read any books on child development? It is normal for toddlers to fall in love with their dads. I think boys want to follow their dad because they want to be like them.

My son followed his dad around almost as soon as he stated walking. I was ok to put him to bed or comfort and feed him but the rest of his time was dad time.

It is normal. He still loves and needs you. In fact, he would not have reached this stage if it had not been for your care and love. He needs your love to feel security to attend to what up with the man of the house. Without that, he would be clinging to you and not developing the way he should.

LovesHerMan · 05-05-2012, 11:01 AM

Children go through many different stages. It is important that you do not over-react to his moods and emotions. He will pick up on your distress, and he may intensify his screaming to get attention. Just ignore his crying and continue to be a loving mother.

Gaia · 05-05-2012, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catherine602

My son followed his dad around almost as soon as he stated walking.

My son does that too!!! He follows close behind his daddy trying to match his every step! He even goes so far as to stick his little feet in his daddy's big ole boots and clumsily walks around in them lol.

uzername · 05-05-2012, 07:17 PM

Gaia - it's odd, because i've been able to recognize that (that kids flip flop) with my friend's kids but now that it's my own i guess i have blinders on.

Catherine - i always thought that girls bonded with daddy and boys with mom. but maybe that's later in adolescence?

lovesherman - great advice, thanks!

thanks to all for the support!

Catherine602 · 05-05-2012, 10:09 PM

If I remember correctly, when the child is learning about his identity, he or she usually emulates the parent of the same sex. They are becoming more independent of the mother, and have the time to focus on the world outside.

At different stages, both boys and girls focus on one parent and then the other. It depends on what they need for growth and development.