[lamaga]

This just got sprung on me late last night.

Background -- I first started dating my husband a year after his divorce, I had nothing to do with the breakup of his marriage, although it is true that we knew each other in high school. We were not in contact at all during his marriage -- I was married, too, and we lived in separate states. His ex-wife is bitter about the divorce, although it's been years.

I get along fine with his teen-aged boys, but the older girl (23) has kind of assumed the mantle of her mother's hurt feelings, so it's pretty fraught when she is around.

So, it'll be ok. I've made her a birthday cake and a nice lunch, and it'll be ok, but between you and me...dammit. Not the Sunday I'd hoped for, but I do it for H. Whee!

[tacoma]

How often do you see her?

Do you have a relationship with her?

How is she around you?

[lovesherman]

Good for you for trying to keep this relationship positive. Your husband will appreciate your efforts, and your step-daughter, if she is honest, will eventually realize that you are not the enemy. You love her father and make him happy; it is sometimes hard for a daughter to come to terms with this.

[lamaga]

Thanks, Lovesherman. It went pretty well over all.

Tacoma, she technically lives with us, in that she has a room here, but she stays with her boyfriend, she is here no more than once or twice a month. I tried very hard in the beginning to have a relationship, but -- as is my wont -- I think I tried too hard. So I've backed off now, I'm polite and even friendly, but essentially disengaged.

Still -- it went ok. Whew! Thanks to you both for your responses.