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Any tips from anyone who allowed your children to sleep in the room with you and now would like to move them out.
We have two kids, 7 and 4. Our eldest had a hard time for awhile, and was very attached to my wife and sleeping in the bed with us (really her). After fighting with the both of them about it for years, I finally got the eldest out and sleeping in her own room. But that was only about a year and a half ago.
I'm still having a hard time convincing my youngest and her mother to do the same. We have a small place, so she would share a room with her sister. They actually have bunk beds, and the room is very girly and nice to be in. But she still wants to sleep by her mother. Its essentially a crib that's right next to our bed.
I'd love to move her out into her own room and finally get rid of that massive crib - but nothing I've tried has worked.
I let her fall asleep in our room, then move her after she's sleeping. She wakes up later and just cries and walks into our room. I've tried having her fall asleep in her own bed, and she does the same thing later.
I'm almost feel like giving up and just hoping once she'll do it on her own once she is older.
Any advice would be great.
Keep trying, you could put a gate up and when she cries put her back in bed. I coslept with both my kids, took me a while to get my son out, finally letting him sleep with his sister helped because he just didn't want to be alone. You could try that. Also could get one of those kid tents to put up in the girls room n see if making it fun will work the first couple nights. Ultimately your wife is going to have to help and be firm with her. Posted via Mobile Device
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Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
The problem is with the mother. As long as she's NOT okay with it neither will the child. Mom holds the key to this battle.
My youngest slept with us (not my choice - it just happened despite all my swearing that I'd NEVER let a kid sleep with us). It was either move the crib in our bedroom or not sleep. I chose the crib in our room.
By the time she was 3 I was easily able to talk her into sharing a bunk bed with her 6 year old sister. By 6 she was in her own room. Not a big deal but both my husband and I were 100% on board with this. A must to get kids out of your bedroom I think.
Too late for you but the best way to deal with thisnis to not start down this road at all.
I bet your sex life is great. Amazing that you had the four year old at all ...
Not trying to be mean.
It happens sometimes. I swore I'd never let a kid sleep with me and here came #3 and she wouldn't sleep anywhere BUT with us.
Those few years our play room got a lot of 'play'. We just snuck out after she was asleep. A pain sometimes yes but it was only for a few years. She's now happily in her own room and those years are all but a blur now.
We have a 2 and 3 year old who have both shared our bed at different times.
Before you make any progress, your wife has to be on board 100%. I am guessing she does not feel the same way that you do or likely this would be resolved by now. You are not going to get anywhere without being a united front and without HER 100% commitment ans belief in what you are doing. Kids can sense weakness and will prey on it. Seriously.
If you are both on board with this, it will involve some tough nights for about a week of consistently leading then back to their room and hearing crying and tantrums. But it can be done.
Personally? DH and I have met at middle ground. My oldest child has always been a horrible sleeper, suffers from night terrors and sleep walking. He goes to sleep in his own bed but usually ends up in our bed around 3:00am or so. We have both made a choice not to fight this for now...mostly because our life is so crazy that we live by the rule - whatever gets everyone the most sleep. My son is old enough to get into bed without disturbing either one of us so often we wake up in the morning not knowing when he came in.
Someone mentioned sex - we make it work. In our case we always have from about 9:00p - 3:00a by ourselves.
My husband is a bit weird in that he actually enjoys co sleeping with the kids. He always has. I was the one who had to fight for the getting them in their own beds because I am a light sleeper and was losing sleep. Posted via Mobile Device
It happens sometimes. I swore I'd never let a kid sleep with me and here came #3 and she wouldn't sleep anywhere BUT with us.
Those few years our play room got a lot of 'play'. We just snuck out after she was asleep. A pain sometimes yes but it was only for a few years. She's now happily in her own room and those years are all but a blur now.
I raised two daughters so I know the drill. But in hindsight we handled it very well.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
We have a 2 and 3 year old who have both shared our bed at different times.
Before you make any progress, your wife has to be on board 100%. I am guessing she does not feel the same way that you do or likely this would be resolved by now. You are not going to get anywhere without being a united front and without HER 100% commitment ans belief in what you are doing. Kids can sense weakness and will prey on it. Seriously.
If you are both on board with this, it will involve some tough nights for about a week of consistently leading then back to their room and hearing crying and tantrums. But it can be done.
Personally? DH and I have met at middle ground. My oldest child has always been a horrible sleeper, suffers from night terrors and sleep walking. He goes to sleep in his own bed but usually ends up in our bed around 3:00am or so. We have both made a choice not to fight this for now...mostly because our life is so crazy that we live by the rule - whatever gets everyone the most sleep. My son is old enough to get into bed without disturbing either one of us so often we wake up in the morning not knowing when he came in.
Someone mentioned sex - we make it work. In our case we always have from about 9:00p - 3:00a by ourselves.
My husband is a bit weird in that he actually enjoys co sleeping with the kids. He always has. I was the one who had to fight for the getting them in their own beds because I am a light sleeper and was losing sleep. Posted via Mobile Device
Get them bigger beds in their own rooms and bed down with them, when they're asleep move to your own bed. :-)
Sure there will be mornings when you wake up crowded but for the most part they will feel secure in their own places. You can also get a big bed and let the kids bed down together. In a lot of cultures this is pretty common, if they're opposite genders you can separate them in a couple years no biggie.
My ex husband was the culprit for kids in our bed. I moved the first one out (age 4) a little bit at a time. I made him a "squishy bed" on the floor beside our bed. It included a folded up blanket for padding, and an awesome Ninja Turtle sleeping bag.... cuz who wouldn't want to sleep in that??
In about a period of a week or so I moved that "squishy bed" bit by bit to the door and to the hallway, to his door...lol and eventually I think he just figured it out that his bed is RIGHT THERE. Worked for me.... till ex let another kid in the bed.
My ex husband was the culprit for kids in our bed. I moved the first one out (age 4) a little bit at a time. I made him a "squishy bed" on the floor beside our bed. It included a folded up blanket for padding, and an awesome Ninja Turtle sleeping bag.... cuz who wouldn't want to sleep in that??
In about a period of a week or so I moved that "squishy bed" bit by bit to the door and to the hallway, to his door...lol and eventually I think he just figured it out that his bed is RIGHT THERE. Worked for me.... till ex let another kid in the bed.
LMAO
This is exactly how I potty train a new puppy.
Put the paper where he pees then slowly move the paper towards the door over the course of a week or more until he starts going to the door to pee.
I never minded my kids sleeping with me. I was a single mom till the youngest was 3 and I met hubby and he started staying over. I just put a bed in the basement where we'd go after they fell asleep in my bed When we moved in together I'd move whoever was in there out after they fell asleep if we wanted to make love. My daughter usually woke up and came back at some point. Then we moved again and she got her own room and slept in there fine for the most part after that. Although she'd still end up in with us sometimes. The boys too, especially if they had a bad dream. My daughter even used to end up in our room into her teens - she'd bring blankets and lay on the floor beside me and I'd wake up and find her there. It was something she needed to do.
Anyway, my philosophy is that kids get an important need filled by having their parents accessible to them at night if they need it, and that when they're ready they'll move into their own bed/room. It's only in recent times that people insist their children sleep in separate rooms. Traditionally, families slept together all in one big room!
Hope, I have to agree with Tac. Yours is the typical co-sleeping argument, but there is one thing missing...the marital relationship.
It's sacrificed to the children, which I don't think is good for a family. That's just me, obvs. C',mon, I can't be the only person who occasionally has hot monkey love in the middle of the night...
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Getting 4 yr old out of our bedroom 
