[AFMama]

My husband and I are at a loss. He has two children from his previous marriage and in the beginning there were just the normal transitional issues that you experience when you combined a family. Now for the past three months or so his oldest daughter has been doing everything in her power to always keep our home stirred up. She has been acting out twords her own sister and my daughter, she is purposely breaking rules, we have caught her numerous times stealing from us and lying about anything and everything. She will say things to strangers and to both my husband and I to try to hurt us, things have just been getting worse and worse. We have tried talking to her several times. We have tried giving her responsibilities, we have tried spending individual time with her, we spend a lot of family time together and we have been consistent and stable with our home. We don't know what to do anymore....any advice?

[girl friday]

Hi step families are a minefield. Can you give us more info. The ages of the children and in particular the difficult one, how long you and your husband have been together. At the end of the day children are very manipulative and selfish and generally only want one thing - their parents back together.

[tacoma]

What is the parenting environment in your home?

Do you & your husband both actively parent each others kids?

What are the attitudes of the other kids in general and about their troubled sibling?

What are their ages?

[EleGirl]

Like everyone else has asked... what are the ages of all the children.

How long has your husband been divorced?
How long have you been married to him?
How much time does she spend at your house and her mother's house?

[lamaga]

Yep, how old is she?

And I'd say she definitely needs to be in IC, regardless of her age.

[GhostRydr]

I have two stepkids. An 11 yr old and a soon to be 18 yr old. Im also in the process of leaving their mom. They dont blame me as they know how she is..but they also love her.

I learned fast and hard the worst thing to do as a step parent is to try and BE a REAL parent (unless you get em young like babies to maybe 5. Otherwise, do what a real bio parent SHOULDNT do..be a friend. o be sure, back up the bio parent with their rules, etc..

ANd even though they respect me..cuz ultimately, they know I dont take any crap, I have to quote Alec Baldwin...they can certainly be at times, thoughtless little pigs.