[diwali123]

We have them every other weekend. In the summer we have them
a total of five weeks. This isn't every time we have them but often when they are being very hyper, fighting, talking loudly and acting weird all the time he starts to lose it. Eventually he ends up yelling at them over stupid things which really doesn't do anyone any good.
The thing is I tell him to take breaks away and go do something but he feels like he has to get every minute he can with them. Then I say it's quality not quantity and he just still insists he wants to be with them even when he is very frustrated.
Then I get sick of him yelling and being angry and annoyed and I end up leaving or going in another room.
I just don't know what to do.
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[Mavash.]

This isn't your problem to solve. He's stated he wishes to be with them even while angry at them. So you come at it from your boundary place. You say his yelling and being angry is scaring YOU and that when he does it you will leave. Go to that other room, get some headphones, or go somewhere else. Maybe he will make the connection that if it's bad for you it's bad for them too.

I swear I think men will rebel against the most reasonable of suggestions from the wives just to prove they can. So let your husband be. Tell him "okay you know best and I have faith you will figure this out". After you've stated your boundary.

Just walk away.

[lamaga]

I don't think you can do much. He would obviously benefit from some counseling or parenting classes to learn how to manage his annoyance, but you cannot make him do that.

I think leaving/going into another room is the only thing you can do. Just make it very clear, calmly and kindly, before the kids' next visit, that that will be the consequence.

What a tough spot for you! Sorry...I had an angry, volatile father, and trust me, he is doing more damage to them than he can possibly imagine.

[Mavash.]

Originally Posted by lamaga

I had an angry, volatile father, and trust me, he is doing more damage to them than he can possibly imagine.

Same here. And yes the damage is severe.