[sd212]

Wanted to bounce this off my friends here.

I found out that my X has had the kids around OM. Interestingly, I'm not upset about it at all. I'm completely comfortable with the fact that she has her life now and I have mine. In fact, he really isn't a terrible person other than the fact that he slept with a married woman and left his wife. I imagine he will treat my children like royalty, if nothing else, to impress my X.

I was offended that I found out by one of my kids saying we went to XYZ's house instead of her telling me but that's just how it happened and I can't change that.

So, 2 kids under 5. It is a very significant change in their life.

I've met someone too now and I can see how my X felt it was the right thing to do. I mean, I'm very hesitant and going to be very careful about what I do but I guess what I'm saying is...
I get it. I can see why when you fall in love with someone new you want to take your kids around them.

Who knows if anyone will even read this or have an opinion but I'm just very surprised that I feel the way I do about it. I figured I would go ballistic when OM was anywhere near my babies. But, I'm OK with it.

[that_girl]

Nope. Do not do it. Your ex shouldn't be doing it either unless she's very serious about this man.

Your children live by example. If they meet gf/bf after gf/bf, it will affect them.

Their parents just broke up! Give them time to sink it in. Geebus.

And keep your personal life PERSONAL. Your children need stability...not the drama of your love life (as it will happen...it always does, to the best of us.)

[sd212]

Oh no, I'm not doing it. I'm just saying that I can see why one's brain would think it is OK.

I have ONE priority in my life and that is my kids. I've spent a great deal of time talking with IC about it and feel very informed about the damage it can cause.

I was just trying to say that I understand why one would make the mistake and am comfortable with the fact that I cannot control anything other than loving my kids unconditionally.

[that_girl]

True. I still wouldn't trust a strange man around my kids. But that's just me.

And, to me, there's nothing worse than a woman trying to recreate a family unit with a random guy. No offense, it just says desperate to me. I mean, if they are serious, then awesome. But I've known women who bring every bf around their kids. Wow. Sure makes Mom look like a wh0re.

[SunnyT]

No kidding....how many "uncles" does a kid need?

[lamaga]

Good choice, SD -- what your ex does is really none of your business, unless she is endangering the kids. She is not, so I think the fact that you are not going ballistic is a very mature response.

Really? Life goes on.