[anonymous2223]

im sure people here have issues with there in laws....


okay so me and my H started dating 6 yrs ago before i came around he was dating an ex that my in laws where very much in love with specially my sister in laws. so with that being said from the very beginning my sister in laws hated me. i always kept my cool on and was always nice to them. my sister in laws kept in touch with this ex girlfriend(whom is obsess with my H till this day) i didnt care much about it back then since we had just started dating never though it would be a long term relationship and specially turning it into us being married with 3 children.

as years went by this woman has always been wanting to know how our lives are doing. my H and I had heard that this EX would ask about him to see how he is doing and want to his business. now my H has NC with her ever since they broke up back when they were teens. its like my sister in laws are obsess that in some way they feel im in the way of my H and his EX being together(i hope this makes any sense) the way i feel is he married me for a reason he has been with me for 6 years. why cant they get the point?? i have talked to my husband about it of course he has tried to say something to them in the past. the problem is they are very scandalous ppl they dont know how to sit down and talk they want to make everything into an argument(thank god my H is not like his sisters) now recently my H and his sisters dont talk(personal problems between them) but it sometimes does get to me that i just wished i got along with my sister in laws. i dislike the simple fact that they wish his EX was there SIL and not me

[NotAlwaysEasy]

I can't really help. My parents are/were very much the same with me and my ex, they don't like my DF and would give anything for me to be with my ex. It's quite upsetting to me that my parents can't accept my DF for who he is, and instead have gone to great lengths to try and push us apart. DF says that he doesn't really care, they aren't in our lives anymore anyway, but I have no doubt it would affect him in some way. Maybe that's just me yearning for the parents I never had?
I wish I could help, but all I can do is say you are not alone.
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[anonymous2223]

It's sad how family can be so selfish and not see that, that person makes you very happy.
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[lamaga]

You cannot control who other people befriend. Your sister-in-laws are friends with this woman, who is long ago in your husband's past. Let it go. You cannot control it, so you might as well.

And btw, maybe the reason they don't like you is because you clearly hold them in low regard. I'd work on mending the relationship with the SILs and forget about the ex.

[anonymous2223]

I've tried making the relationship better between us better even when they lost there home my in laws came to live with me and at that I never got a thank you. They would constantly tell me to my face that they missed his EX. Thing is they never even gave me a chance to get to know me. From the very moment they hated me. Relationship with my other sister in laws(brothers wives)are great. It's just my husbands sisters I can't seem to get them to like me. Hopefully one day I can say I get along with them till then I'm just going to worry about my marriage and as long as my marriage is great then that's all that should matter.

Lamaga your right I need to let it go and that's what I'm going to do
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[Ree]

I can sympathize with you..My MIL not only likes my hubbys ex-wife better but she's gone so far as to send her money on numerous occasions,used OUR phone when she was living in OUR house to call her which made my husband go ballistic and then magically one day a card from the ex to the MIL for Mother's Day shows up in my mail box!..Hubby was furious but I quite honestly laughed at how childish and pathetic they were for doing it as if they were trying to shove their relationship in my face..Here's the way I look at it..I could care less who my MIL likes better and as far as I'm concerned she can send the ex her entire bank account if she wants to..I'm the one married to my husband,I'm the one he crawls in bed with every night and when his mother put him into a position to choose her or our marriage he chose us!!..We've been married almost 11yr.s and his ex is of no threat to me or my marriage especially considering how much he can't stand her so I don't let it concern me in the least..I found the best thing to do was to show them that I could care less..My MIL was always bringing up the ex in front of me and I paid no attention to it whatsoever and that really pissed her off!..I'm married to my husband not his mom or his ex so as long as him and I are happy that's all I care about..The only thing about the situation that used to bother me is hubby has told the MIL on numerous occasions that with all the hell and heartache his ex put him through he feels very disrespected that his mom maintains the kind of contact that she does with her and that she's always giving her money..As long as your secure in your marriage that's all you need think about and the more you let them know it bothers you the more they will do it..Just show them that you're not threatened by her or their relationship with her and you confident in your husbands love and loyalty for you.

[anonymous2223]

Thank you ree glad to know I'm not alone with in law problems. And like you said as long as I'm confident about my husbands love and loyalty it's all that matter which in fact I am
Once again thank you ladies with giving me such great advice!
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[FirstYearDown]

Originally Posted by Ree

I can sympathize with you..My MIL not only likes my hubbys ex-wife better but she's gone so far as to send her money on numerous occasions,used OUR phone when she was living in OUR house to call her which made my husband go ballistic and then magically one day a card from the ex to the MIL for Mother's Day shows up in my mail box!..Hubby was furious but I quite honestly laughed at how childish and pathetic they were for doing it as if they were trying to shove their relationship in my face..Here's the way I look at it..I could care less who my MIL likes better and as far as I'm concerned she can send the ex her entire bank account if she wants to..I'm the one married to my husband,I'm the one he crawls in bed with every night and when his mother put him into a position to choose her or our marriage he chose us!!..We've been married almost 11yr.s and his ex is of no threat to me or my marriage especially considering how much he can't stand her so I don't let it concern me in the least..I found the best thing to do was to show them that I could care less..My MIL was always bringing up the ex in front of me and I paid no attention to it whatsoever and that really pissed her off!..I'm married to my husband not his mom or his ex so as long as him and I are happy that's all I care about..The only thing about the situation that used to bother me is hubby has told the MIL on numerous occasions that with all the hell and heartache his ex put him through he feels very disrespected that his mom maintains the kind of contact that she does with her and that she's always giving her money..As long as your secure in your marriage that's all you need think about and the more you let them know it bothers you the more they will do it..Just show them that you're not threatened by her or their relationship with her and you confident in your husbands love and loyalty for you.

If you did not care, you would not bother to mention your MIL's actions. Nothing wrong with the fact that her rudeness hurt you. Totally agree with showing them that you are not threatened.

MIL prefers my BIL's ex girlfriend; they lived together for six years and my MIL used to have this ex's picture on her wall. This continued despite my BIL marrying someone else. I found that very disrespectful.

[FirstYearDown]

Originally Posted by anonymous2223

I've tried making the relationship better between us better even when they lost there home my in laws came to live with me and at that I never got a thank you. They would constantly tell me to my face that they missed his EX. Thing is they never even gave me a chance to get to know me. From the very moment they hated me. Relationship with my other sister in laws(brothers wives)are great. It's just my husbands sisters I can't seem to get them to like me. Hopefully one day I can say I get along with them till then I'm just going to worry about my marriage and as long as my marriage is great then that's all that should matter.

Lamaga your right I need to let it go and that's what I'm going to do
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It was way out of line that they showed no gratitude and dared to tell you they missed the ex. Some people have no manners. You cannot force anyone to like you; all you can do is be civil. Doesn't seem like your SIL's are worth being friends with anyway.

We all like to tell ourselves that other's opinion of us doesn't/shouldn't matter. The truth is, dislike from family members hurts to the core. The pain is even worse when you know that you have been kind.

Just keep in being a good wife, lovey. Talk to your husband about your SIL's comments.

[stoney1215]

his sisters are allowed to have what ever relationship with his ex that they wish . you have a choice as to what relationship you have with his sisters , including no relationship . they can not have any effect on you if you do not have anything to do with them .

it is your husbands responsibility to address his sisters behavior . from your post it seems as though the only option she leaves is no relationship with him either . remove yourself from her life and her influence and save yourself the aggrevation . you can not force her to change or control her actions . but you can change yourself and control your actions .