[Cogo123]

Went on a 4 day vacation last week. My son is ten and it was myself and my husband. Husband tells my son when he gets home he doesn't want him within 10 ft of him. He was making my husband crazy. He wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. Just being a kid.
Then he tells him he has to go outside and play in 90 degree weather and his friends were not home. I spent time with my son and he asked me why I was doing that. He needs to go outside and away from us. Yes I agree but his friends are not home a lot and why is it a bad thing to spend time with my son?
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[costa200]

Originally Posted by Cogo123

Went on a 4 day vacation last week. My son is ten and it was myself and my husband. Husband tells my son when he gets home he doesn't want him within 10 ft of him. He was making my husband crazy. He wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. Just being a kid.
Then he tells him he has to go outside and play in 90 degree weather and his friends were not home. I spent time with my son and he asked me why I was doing that. He needs to go outside and away from us. Yes I agree but his friends are not home a lot and why is it a bad thing to spend time with my son?
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Your hubby wants time with YOU... Nothing wrong with spending time with the boy but don't neglect other aspects of marriage.

[Ano]

Your husband is wrong in this situation. Daytime is for my son..and night time is hubby time. But even during the day on the weekends we all go swimming or play board games. Is your hubby always like this? Maybe your hubs was having a bad day?

It seems very odd that a father would completely push his child away and act that way. Is he normally an involved father? From what you wrote it almost sounds like he can't stand his son.

[Cogo123]

Originally Posted by Ano

Your husband is wrong in this situation. Daytime is for my son..and night time is hubby time. But even during the day on the weekends we all go swimming or play board games. Is your hubby always like this? Maybe your hubs was having a bad day?

It seems very odd that a father would completely push his child away and act that way. Is he normally an involved father? From what you wrote it almost sounds like he can't stand his son.

He has always been this way. I can't figure out why a father wouldn't want to spend time with his son.
Its almost like he doesn't want to be bothered & he truly does not enjoy having them around. He said he likes being a dad but I do not think he uderstands what it means to be a dad.
We get along OK except when he pushes too hard on his sons. Then I get quiet & he knows I am upset. He tries to explain his behavior to me but I cannot seem to find justification for it. Is this behavior a reason to
leave ? I went to counseling and he said that was a waste of time & $.
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[unsure&lost]

My husband is like this also.. only difference is he didnt come into my daughter and i's life till she was 6. She is now 11 and he is 2. lol no really. i think when we got together he still thought life was about still being single. He went out all the time with his friends while i still sat home with my daughter. this went on for a couple years. He started out being my daughters friend so she could know him. but that has never changed. now that we are married and he has adopted her if he can't be friends with her...he is just mean to her. From the start he never wanted to play games with us, take walks with us, watch movies with us....it got to the point we stopped asking. Now that he is bored out of his mind and cant drive and or work....he tells me i make him feel like a 3rd wheel. ?????? Really cause i tried to include you and if it was something you didnt enjoy i had to do alone. He picks fights with my daughter and if my daughter agrees with me he calls her a a** kiss. he says things that friends say to each other. He tells me i shouldnt do as much with her as i do and i tell him....look one day she isnt gonna wanna do stuff with me so i am enjoyying her now before it is to late. He tells me i am suppose to be his friend and not hers. however i am a mom to her first and she respects me. But she does not respect him at all. There used to be a time they was attached side by side and i was not included on anything and i did not mind it. It was a bit frustrating cause during this time he was only her friend and i was wearing both mom and dad hats.

So i so get your situation and it does suck and i am so not sure why they do that. It makes no sense to me either. I am thinking on leaving also. I didnt marry someone for them to be a disappointment to my daughter. The lack of being a dad, and rather being a immature adult. I know my husband has no idea how to be a dad. When he messes with our daughter and she says stop he gets made. Or if they are wrestling around and she says stop that hurts...he says no it dont. we have spoke several times about when ppl say stop for whatever reason then listen......it dont help

Good luck...but yes i would leave...his lack of interest will only grow onto your kid and make him feel unwanted and under apprecaited, i would rather my daughter see me as a strong woman and doing whats best for her without a dad around then stick around and have her feel i dont stand up for her and feel unwanted by someone who knew she was a part of me and for that person to make her for bad about herself.