Serious Problems And Need help

hasNoIdeaWhatToDo · 07-17-2012, 07:13 PM

Well, first off I love my wife. And would do any thing for her. We have been friends since we were in high school. We both have always liked each other but we never dated till about a year and a half ago. Which would be 13 years of knowing each other. We started dating and well everything was awesome. We would have or problems and we would work thru them, we had no real problems. I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Both sides of our family were very happy. About 5 months later we found out we were pregnant. I was so happy and so was she. My wife did cry when she told me, but she told me it was because she was afraid of how I would take it. Anyways, we talk about what we should do and we made the decision to get married so I could put her on my health insurance so her and our baby would have health care. My wife has a had cancer since she was 16 so this was a very big deal to her to be able to see her dr that has taken care of her from the start. Two weeks pass and we got married. About a week later she told me to move out because she need space. So I took my things and went to my parents for what I thought would be a few days. Well that was about 3 months ago. She is now 17 weeks and wants nothing to do with me. She went from I need space; to I hate you and don’t trust you. So I went to talk to her mother about the whole thing. Her mother does not understand any of this either. She has turned very angry towards everyone. She is very mean to her mother, sister, and has nothing but hate towards her father and myself. She has totally cut me off. Won’t let me go to the sonograms and lies to me about everything or simply will not speak to me. I love this woman more than anything in the world and I have no clue what to do anymore. I am working two jobs going to night school and just well... you get the point. The child is with out a doubt mine period. Is this just hormones or maybe some type of imbalance?

Uptown · 07-22-2012, 12:03 PM

No-Idea, welcome to the TAM forum. I'm sorry you are going through such a painful experience. I strongly recommend you see a clinical psychologist -- for a visit or two by yourself -- to obtain a candid professional opinion on what it is you are dealing with. The two most likely explanations, as you already know, are hormone changes caused by the pregnancy or strong traits of a personality disorder.

If the latter were involved, however, you or her family would have seen red flags starting much earliler -- typically about age 14. Do you know if she was abused or abandoned in childhood? If not, the most likely issue is a hormone change. What is puzzling about that being the problem is that she turned on everyone (including her own family) only a week after marriage, at which time she was only about two months pregnant. Such strange, abusive behavior also can be caused by certain drugs and by a recent brain injury. But those causes are less likely and you make no mention of either occurring. Take care, No-Idea.

hasNoIdeaWhatToDo · 07-22-2012, 05:50 PM

She was married before, and her ex did beat her and did other horrible things to her. She does not use drugs at all. I dont know anymore. She has totally cut me out of her life at this point and it really hurts. I am going to continue working my two jobs and paying for insurance for her. Which is kinda of funny because i do not think she is even using the health insurance anymore. All i can do is continue to be faithfull and pray for the best. If she does leave me oh well. I will still be around and be a part of my childs life. Even if i have to take her to court to do so.

F-102 · 07-25-2012, 08:46 AM

Is there the chance that, with the cancer, she feels that she may not have too much time left, and doesn't want her family to miss her too much? Many people with terminal illnesses "ice" everyone from their lives-my grandmother attempted to do this before she died.

Shaggy · 07-25-2012, 08:53 AM

IS there a possibility that it isn't yours and she's ashamed of anyone finding out?

hasNoIdeaWhatToDo · 07-25-2012, 09:29 PM

her cancer is not terminal. So that is not the issue. Now about the question of is it my child. Who knows, i trusted her so i belive that it is my child. She had her 2nd sonogram on monday didnt tell me about it and when i asked her about it she said i was harassing her and to leave her alone. She wont tell me the sex or anything....

bluelaser · 07-26-2012, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hasNoIdeaWhatToDo

. Now about the question of is it my child. Who knows, i trusted her so i belive that it is my child.....

If her word is the only thing you are going by then I feel you are being played. You need a DNA test to confirm. I think the reason she won't let you near the baby is because you are not the dad.
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