Re: Autisum and divorce
I'm really sorry you are going through this and I can sympathize. I have 3 children and all are on the spectrum. My husband and I last year went through a seperation with the intent to divorce. I made the first move to divorce him, but it wasn't what I reallly wanted. I just had so many people telling me that my son, who has the most severe autism, would improve if he wasn't always around his dad.
My husband and I did argue a lot pre seperation about our sons care. He constantly arguid that the sypmtoms were not autism, they were just his mother giving him everything he wanted. We never had the sharing the bed problem with our son, but we do have it woth our youngest child who is 4. My husband is not home to share the bed with me though and my children are not in their family home, so my oungest daughter will not sleep alone in her bed. We didn't get a divorce and my husband did move back into the family home New years, but because of the seperation and divorce proceedings my husband did not pay our morgage and we lost our house in May. My husband got laid off from his job 30 days after moving back home and there was no work in our state. So he we are now living with his parents and my husband is living in another state where there is work. We have planned to move where he is, but our credit stops us from renting a house until we can improve it and save some money.
Autism is very very stressful on a marriage and each child has different obsessions, fears and behaviors. My husband and I were lucky that we were able to see before we actually got to the divorce date that we really did still love eachother deeply. He fully accepts autism now way more so than his parents do. We still have problems in our marriage though and the kids and living situation is very very depressing and stressful.
I hope you and your wife can come to an understanding and work together on your sons care whether you go through divorce or not. There are a lot of support group out there that can help you. I joined a support group right before my seperation and it has helped save me and make both my husband and I feel not so alone with children with autism