gbrad said: I hope as well too. Having kids is just something that I have always hoped for. I have a hard time believing that I can have a full and happy life without them.
I felt this way.... I was an only child ...always wished for siblings of my own.....I always envied my friends with large families, even if they were a little whacked, I wanted that CHAOS in the worst way. So that was my dreams as a young wife..
It would bother me when people would brush my feelings off & tell me I am better off with one, or just relax... I felt like this >>
I can also relate to Tikii - about adoption... We did start looking into adoption -after so many yrs of trying but my heart was not into it,
I KNEW I wanted MY OWN , and for some of us, that has to be worked through, grueling as it may be....it is something that would have to be laid to death...Before adoption can be considered. I never got there ...but turns out I didn't need to. The very month we scheduled our 1st Invitro Attempt was the very month we conceived on our own... I was supposed to call the doc when I got my "monthly" -but it never came! Talk about last minute. That saved us some $$
I had Secondary Infertility for over 6 yrs after the birth of our 1st son... most difficult time in my life......as my hearts desire was
always that "large family" thing.
Came to learn ....after many tests, his count (good), my tubes (clear), post -coiltal (Doc said best he ever seen), taking clomid for 6 months (didn't do anything)....eventually I went for the "Laparoscopy" that showed I had adhesions binding up my tubes causing a "kink"....after this was corrected, went on to have another 5 in my 30's.
gbrad Said: At this point neither my wife nor I feel as if adoption is for us. It has been suggested by a couple friends, but I don't think it is something I would want to do. I have to say, I want that child to be 100% mine. That may sound selfish, but I think I would always have that question in my mind of, did this happen because...
I don't believe this is Selfish, THIS IS HONEST, you know what you want, and you have not laid down that hope yet.. I think you are on the right path... I believe a "Peace" would come upon you both, an acceptance .... when/IF it was the right time... for adopting ..... like our story, I never got there...... though if I was still trying 5 yrs from then, I believe I would have worked through some things in this area. A hope deferred too long really does make the
sick. (That is a scripture somewhere).
I have seen some crazy things in regards to Infertility, a friend - tried for over 10 years, NOTHING, she adopted a little girl from China, then.... she got pregnant ! Made no sense at all. If the Docs offer HOPE and you can afford it , and this IS your hearts desire... .I say GO FOR IT !!